An old flame
by Iluvbeyblade
Summary: Three years after GRevolution, Kai finds Hilary unconscious in an alleyway and takes her back with him. But what secrets are the two of them keeping from each other? KaiHilary
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is a ridiculously long chapter, soI apologise in advance. Rated M for references to rape, swearing, and homosexuality in later chapters.

* * *

Shivering slightly in the cold night air, Kai walked down the damp pavement, hands jammed tightly into the pockets of his jacket, his face and clothes wet with the rainstorm that had only just died down.

It had been three years since the end of the third World Championships. Kai was now living in Moscow and trying to help the hundreds of children who had been scarred, both emotionally and physically, by what Voltaire and Boris had done. As he often said wryly, he had softened up so much that he smiled more often than he glared these days.

A sudden noise caught his attention, his senses as sharp as ever. Standing still, he waited until he heard it again. Mentally locating where it was coming from, he spun on his heel and followed the sound. He didn't need to check where he was going, he knew Moscow like he knew how to beyblade.

Turning into one of the many alleyways that littered the city like weeds in a garden, he strained his eyes to see into the darkness, finally making out a figure lying on the wet concrete at the other end. He walked nearer. A few more steps, and it became a girl. A few more steps, now only a couple of metres away, and… He stopped dead, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing. It couldn't be her, it just couldn't be…

"Hilary!" The cry broke out of him as he ran the remaining distance and knelt down beside the girl's limp form. Hilary, if it was her, and Kai was certain that it was, was in a horrific state. Her short brown hair was plastered to her face with the rain, her skin was dead white, slightly parted lips almost blue. Her clothes had nearly been ripped off her body, revealing a number of painful bruises and cuts, obviously fresh that day. Her knickers had been torn partly off, only just concealing her modesty. What remained of her clothes, a bra, and the pitiful ruins of a pink T-shirt, were soaked through. One ankle was swollen and red. As Kai looked, horrified, she began to stir.

Her brown eyes opened for a second, and Kai was shocked at the fear that they held. But she was too weak and they closed again as she sank back into unconsciousness. The clinical, efficient part of Kai's brain kicked in at last, and he began to check her over. _Bruises, lacerations, possible sexual abuse - if it is and I ever catch the bastard that did it to her, they won't live to see the next day, no, the next second - pulse slow and weak, temperature far too low. She's got hypothermia, and I'll be very surprised if that's all it is…_ Mind racing, Kai took off his coat and wrapped Hilary tightly in the thick leather. Picking her up, he readied himself for a long journey, and began to run.

Stepping inside the door of his flat, Kai strode in to the lounge and laid Hilary down on the sofa. Quickly stripping off her wet clothes, he wrapped her up in a blanket he found near the sofa. He walked hurriedly in to the kitchen and turned the heating up to maximum. Going back in the lounge, he sat down next to her and began to rub her vigorously with the blanket, trying to dry her off. He suddenly remembered something that someone had told him once. The way to warm things up fast is by using your own body heat. Cautiously, he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She was so cold, so deadly cold… He stayed like that for over an hour, feeling her body start to warm slightly. Pulling away, he looked closely at her face. Yes, there was a little more colour in it now.

"Hilary, you will be all right," he whispered. What was her temperature now? He found a thermometer. 36 degrees. He let out a sigh of relief. Only one degree below normal. He had been that many times and been fine after a day or so in bed. Bed, yes that was the best place for her now. He lifted her up again, and carried her through in to the spare bedroom, where he laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. With a quiet sigh, he walked over to an armchair and sank down into it, watching her intently, the memories of everything the Bladebreakers had done together flooding back into his mind.

Hilary struggled up through the layers of unconsciousness like a diver without an oxygen tank, straining helplessly.

_"I'm gonna get you, you little bitch. Oh, don't try'n kid me. I know you want it…" Rough, powerful hands, forcing her down, ripping off her skirt, shoving his hands where no man should be allowed without permission… _

Kai went quickly over to the bed, where Hilary was tossing and turning, low moans of fear escaping her throat. He daren't touch her; now positive she had been raped. An idea struck him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Dranzer, placing the beyblade in her limp hand. Slowly, her fingers twitched and closed around the beyblade. A frown appeared on her ashen face as she tried to work out what she was holding.

"Dranzer…" Her voice was almost inaudible, a faint whisper, nothing more. "K-Kai?" Her eyelids fluttered. Kai sat down on the bed next to her.

"Yes, Hilary, it's me, Kai." he said quietly. "Now, you're not in very good shape at the moment, so I just want you to go to sleep, okay?" Hilary made a faint noise of contentment. Within a few seconds, the hand holding Dranzer had gone limp. Kai left the beyblade there, silently ordering Dranzer to comfort Hilary if the phoenix felt her stirring. He went back to the chair and closed his eyes. Sleep, as always, was a long time in coming.

Kai opened his eyes, instantly alert. Early morning sunshine was streaming through the window, the light falling on Hilary, who was staring at him, disbelief clear in her eyes.

"Kai? Is it really you?" she asked. Her voice was shaky, with none of its usual shrewd sharpness. Kai nodded in reply. Walking over to the bed, he sat down next to her.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"Like somebody just hit me with something really hard, then shoved me in a freezer." was the pert reply. Kai let one corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

"That's understandable. Why are you here?"

"Abrupt as always, Kai. I'd rather not talk about it right now, if you don't mind?" Kai simply smiled and inclined his head in acceptance.

"Do you know what happened last night?" As soon as he had said that, he instantly wished the words back. Hilary went stiff; one hand clutching the blankets, the other gripping Dranzer so tightly that Kai saw blood begin to bead on her fingers.

"I don't…I don't remember, why don't I remember?" She began to sob in panic, quietly at first, then harder and louder, burying her head in the pillows. Reacting instinctively, Kai reached down and pulled her to him, rocking her backwards and forwards soothingly.

"Ssh, ssh, everything's going to be fine, I promise. Just calm down, come on, deep breaths…that's it, that's the way…" Murmuring softly, he lowered her back down to the bed, where she lay still, eyes closed, completely drained by the effort of crying.

"I'm sorry…I'm being so stupid…" she murmured faintly.

"Nonsense." Kai said firmly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You've been through a lot."

"You have no idea…" Kai had a feeling that he wasn't supposed to have heard that whispered comment, so he got up and went into his study with a vague idea of carrying on his work from yesterday.

Two hours later, his head jerked up from the laptop screen.

"No…help…stop it…someone…anyone…help me…" He ran into the bedroom and knelt down beside Hilary.

She was in the grip of a nightmare, tossing and turning, moaning and pleading for help. He touched her shoulder gently, the ends of his scarf, now plain grey silk, brushing against her pale cheek.

"Hilary? Hilary, you're dreaming, wake up!" The moans stopped. Her eyes flickered and opened slowly. Kai patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. "You're fine, I promise you."

"Okay…Kai?"

"Yes?"

"My ankle hurts…" Kai went to the bottom of the bed and peeled the covers back. The offending ankle was still swollen, quite impressively so. He turned it gently, noticing the suddenly indrawn breath. There were no breaks, not that he could see or feel…

"I think you've sprained it, that's all." he reassured her. She nodded sleepily. "Where were you staying?" She rattled off the name of a hotel. Kai knew it well.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you can't stay in what you're wearing at the moment, can you?" He gave her a grin. She laughed weakly. "I'll call and get them to bring your things over here. Is that okay with you?" She nodded again. He got up, running a hand encouragingly over her forehead. "In the meantime, you still need to rest."

"Uh-huh…" She curled up in a ball. Kai smiled and left the room.

The next day, when Kai went into the bedroom, Hilary was sitting up waiting for him.

"I see that you're feeling better." he said dryly. She grinned.

"Yeah, much, thanks. Are you busy?" He shook his head.

"Why?"

"I don't know…I just want to talk, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, sure. Now, where did I put those earplugs?" Kai joked, looking around the room. Hilary gasped in mock-outrage and swatted him round the head.

"So," she started, leaning back comfortably against the pillows, "Where did you go? Everyone was really upset when they realised you'd slipped away. Again."

"They were?" Kai blinked, surprised. Hilary's voice took on a sharper tone.

"Yes, they were! There are only so many times you can forgive a person, Kai."

"Upset…like what?" Kai said slowly, already dreading the answer.

"Well, when we found out, Max went and got himself utterly sugar high, then threw up non-stop for five hours, Kenny didn't say anything for the rest of that day, Ray disappeared for the entire day, then I found him at about one in the morning, he'd made the ground outside the dojo look like a demolition site, and Tyson burst into tears and started yelling "Not again, Kai!"" She took a deep breath and clamped her mouth shut.

Hilary found her mind casting back to that day when they had woken up to find that Kai had left them yet again. She had spent the rest of that day, no; make that week, sleeping over at Tyson's, waking him up when he started crying in the middle of the night, and keeping Max away from everything that was even vaguely sugary. Everyone had been so angry and upset, her included. It was the first time she had ever heard any of them swear, and the words "that fucking bastard!" had been used far too frequently for her liking. Squashing her renewed anger down, she glanced at Kai and softened instantly. He was staring at the floor, sadness and guilt suffusing his face. She reached out and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Kai." she said softly, then stopped. Because there wasn't anything else she could say. She knew that it had taken Ray and Tyson, the two who could be said to be closest to Kai, almost six months to start behaving normally again, and that even now, in all of them, there was still this tight little ball of anger that said "You betrayed us again, Kai. How many times are we supposed to forgive you?"

"It's not okay." Kai said shakily. "They've got every right to be mad. What I did was unforgivable."

"Which time are you talking about, Kai?" She couldn't help it, she just suddenly felt so angry… Kai stood up and prepared to walk out of the room. She lunged forwards and caught him round the waist. "Don't go." she blurted. "I'm sorry…I don't know why I just said that…" Kai turned to face her. His face was blank, tears glittering in his amethyst eyes.

"Because it's the truth," he said quietly, pulling out of her grasp. Panic flooded through her.

"No, Kai, please don't go!" Her voice had risen to a hysterical scream. Kai came back and pulled the chair up next to her, sinking into it. He placed a soothing hand on her arm.

"Calm down, Hilary. Now then, what's wrong?"

"I-I don't want…to be alone…" she whispered, tears suddenly brimming in her eyes. Kai's face creased in concern. He reached out and held her gently, waiting for her to quieten.

"Ssh, don't be scared…you're not alone, are you? Now then, take some deep breaths for me, that's it…" Her rapid breathing slowed and she looked hazily up at him.

"You've changed," she murmured, fighting the urge to fall asleep yet again. "That's more like what one of the others would've done. You're…softer, if that makes any sense whatsoever…more…"

"Human?" She laughed at the comment, and at the slight grin on his face.

"See what I mean?" she giggled. His face became more serious.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. When I left…I did some serious thinking…started dropping some of the sourpuss act, as Tyson used to call it."

"What brought that about?"

"I have no idea." Hilary frowned.

"You're lying."

"Correct. But I'm not willing to tell you, just as you aren't willing to tell me how you ended up in Russia." Hilary flushed. No, she wasn't willing to tell him, not yet, anyway. "Oh yes, I almost forgot, your stuff arrived." He went out and returned with a suitcase and three bags. "Let me guess, clothes?" He pointed sarcastically to the bags. Hilary nodded sheepishly. Kai sighed and threw up his hands in an exaggerated gesture of despair. "Girls!" He flashed her a quick grin. "I'll leave you to get dressed. If you need me, just call."

"Okay."

Fifteen minutes later, Kai knocked on the door.

"Hey, Hilary? You want lunch?"

"Yes, please! I'm starving!" came the enthusiastic answer.

"Well, come and get it then! There's a pair of crutches in the wardrobe if your ankle's too painful to walk on."

"Okay, thanks."

Hilary hobbled into the kitchen, savouring the delicious smell of hot soup. She sat down in a chair and rested the crutches against the table.

"I got chicken soup. Is that okay with you?" Kai put a steaming bowl in front of her and handed her a spoon.

"Yeah, that's great." she assured him. "Can I just ask why the heck you have a pair of crutches in your guest bedroom?"

Kai laughed and sat down opposite her with his own bowl of soup.

"Now, that's my little secret." He watched with unconcealed amusement as she attacked her soup, spooning it into her mouth as fast as possible. "Let me think…now, who does that remind me of?

Oh, I know, Tyson!" Hilary gave a quick laugh. Kai inwardly winced at how forced it was and looked closely at her. Her face was suddenly miserable, there were even tears glittering in the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Hilary scrubbed the tears away, cursing herself inventively for allowing herself to break down like that. She smiled wanly at Kai's concerned face, and went back to her soup.

Kai frowned slightly. There was definitely more to this. Maybe it was an argument with Tyson. That made sense. But it would have to be a pretty big argument… He shrugged mentally. When she was ready, she'd tell him. He leaned back slightly in his chair and allowed himself one completely uncensored look, as if she was a girl he was just meeting for the first time.

She was wearing a thick, fluffy brown jumper over a white polo shirt and cream leggings. Her brown hair was longer than he remembered, but had kept its spiked up, slightly punk look. Her face was still slightly pale, making her large mahogany eyes look even bigger. Kai let his eyes stray down, after making absolutely sure that she was concentrating on eating. Hm… Not a bad chest… He pulled his eyes away, the memory of why he had left coming back to him with a vengeance. He started eating his soup hurriedly.

Five minutes later, something started bleeping. He pulled his pager out of his pocket and looked at it. Instantly, he stood up and put his plate in the sink. "I've got to go out now, all right?" he asked. Hilary nodded. "If you want to call anyone, you can use the phone in the hall." He grabbed his coat from the back of the chair and hurried out the door.

Hilary spooned up the last mouthful of soup, wondering why Kai had a pager. The only people she knew who had pagers were hospital staff, and she couldn't really imagine Kai working in a hospital. Shrugging, she levered herself out of the chair, grabbed the crutches, and went into the hall.

She held the phone gingerly, then slowly dialled a number. Ring ring, ring ring…

"Hello, this is the Orange answer-phone. The person you have called is not available right now. Please leave a message after the tone." Beep!

"H-Hello? Mum, Dad, it's Hilary. I just want you to know that I'm fine, I'm staying at a friend's for a while, so…don't worry about me. I'll ring you again later…maybe you'll be in then… Anyway, I love you, and…don't feel bad about me running away. It wasn't your fault. Love you. 'Bye." Hilary pressed the "end" button and wiped her eyes angrily. She looked at the phone through a blur of tears. Without consciously thinking about it, she dialled another number, this one much faster. Biting her lip, she slowly raised the phone to her ear. Ring ring, ring ri-

"Hello?" She shut her eyes, fighting desperately to keep the tears inside her, wondering what on earth she was doing. "Hello, who is this?" Another voice came faintly through.

"Ty? Who is it?"

"I don't know, Maxie. I think it's a prank ca-" Hilary slammed the phone down and sank to the floor sobbing uncontrollably.

_Oh, Tyson…_

Kai pushed open the doors of the hospital and strode through them. The receptionist had been warned of his coming, and simply handed him a slip of paper with a room number written on it. He looked at it, nodded, and hurried off.

"Let me go! I don't want to be here! You've got no fucking right to keep me here!" Kai opened the door. Instantly, the screaming doubled in volume. Kai's eyes flicked expertly over the scene. A hysterical fifteen year-old girl was writhing in the grip of two burly male nurses. Her hazel eyes were wild with anger and fear, her strawberry-blonde hair tangled and damp with the sweat that was pouring down her face. He heard someone running down the corridor behind him.

"About time, Sara," he said, without turning around. "In you go, then."

"No, you've gotta do your bit first, mate." the eighteen year-old drawled, turning up her American accent. Kai scowled.

"Do I have to?"

"Yep. You really think she's gonna pay any attention otherwise?

"Point taken. All right, get ready." He took a deep breath. "Stop that infernal racket at once, you foolish little girl!" He gagged silently, clapping a hand over his mouth as his stomach churned. Even knowing that was him speaking in Voltaire's voice didn't stop him from reacting to it. He watched as Sara ran in, her personality changing in an instant. She went over and stood next to the girl, who had frozen in fear.

"Fuck, I hate him." she whispered, her voice barely audible, her eyes flicking around nervously. The girl turned and looked at her, surprise and wariness showing clearly on her face. She looked around quickly, then nodded and whispered,

"Me too."

"What's your name?" The girl stayed silent. Kai nodded slightly. Classic suspicion. She didn't know whether to trust this strange girl, so she was just clamming up. The worst-case scenario, which had happened five times before with other cases, was that she would stay that way permanently. "I'm Sara. Why'd they put you in this shit-hole?" There was a long pause. Then,

"Some twat tried to stab me." She pulled her grimy top up to show a long, thin wound along her stomach. "I've had worse, though. And now they're not letting me go!" Her voice had risen again, and she lowered it hastily, casting a frightened glance around the room. The nurses had retreated to the other side of the room, letting Sara do her thing. Kai caught Sara's eye. She nodded.

"What'cha scared of?" Sara asked conversationally. The girl gave her a scorching look.

"Who do you think, you dumb bitch? V-Vo-Volt-Voltaire." she spat out, eventually managing to say his name. Kai half-shut his eyes. This was the most dangerous part, the part where the nurses often had to come back into the picture. Sara gave a hoarse laugh.

"Oh, that's just my mate, Kai." The girl's eyes narrowed and she half-rose from the bed.

"Then what was- Wait! You…bastards! This was just a trick!" Sara leaned back on the bed.

"Yep," she said breezily. The girl's face twisted as she tried to work out what was happening. Kai stepped through the doorway.

He walked over to her and stood right in front of her, staring down. She met his gaze defiantly, chin up.

"How many years?" Kai asked quietly.

"Three…" She was unsure, Kai noticed. Her head was telling her: get up, run away, kick him where it hurts, but her heart was telling her that this was someone she could trust.

"Since you were twelve, yes?" She nodded. "I thought so. You haven't got the hard act quite right yet. You need a few years more practice." He smirked and sat down on the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"You mean you don't know me? Most people do. I'm Kai Hitwarti." The girl gasped, her eyes growing big with awe.

"_The_ Kai Hitwarti?"

"Is there any other?" Sara said dryly. "If there is, then God help the rest of us!" Kai scowled at her. He had a number of different reputations. To most of the world, he was known as one of the strongest beybladers in the world, and one of the few who could give the three-times World Champion, Tyson Granger a run for his money. People seemed to remember the battle with Brooklyn as well. Kai preferred to forget about that horrific event. The scars still littered his body.

To a few businessmen in Moscow, he was known as the newest rookie on the block, a cold, tactical negotiator who always got what he wanted.

To the ex-Biovolt "students", he was the first to break out of the Abbey, leaving behind him a record of disobedience and disrespect for his trainers, and the only one who had who'd then gone on to make a name for himself. Everyone seemed to forget that he hadn't actually been that good in the Abbey, or if they did, they didn't care. Kai suspected the former.

"How do I know you're Kai?" the girl asked suspiciously. Kai bent down and rolled up his trouser leg.

"By this." he answered. On his ankle was a brand, seared almost two centimetres deep into the skin. A B over a H and a V. "And this." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a small round scar. Sara rolled up her own sleeve and jeans leg to reveal matching marks, although hers were newer, and clearly done by someone with more experience. Slowly, her eyes fixed on the four scars in front of her, the girl pulled up her own tattered trouser leg, revealing the brand. Suddenly, her face crumpled. She brought her hands up to cover her face as she wept, tears pouring down her cheeks. Sara leaned over and wrapped her arms round the trembling girl, who continued to sob, overcome at finally finding people who would understand what she had gone through.

"What's your name, sugar?" Sara asked softly. The girl blinked and sniffed.

"I-I'm Katy." She sniffed again, then straightened up, wiping her eyes fiercely. She eyed Kai, still harbouring a faint suspicion that he was lying. It was perfectly understandable. His reputation had been blown to ridiculous proportions.

"The final proof." He smirked slightly, drawing Dranzer from his pocket. Katy's eyes nearly fell out of her head.

"D-Dranzer…" she whispered. Kai closed his fist around his beloved blade and put it back in his pocket.

"I'll have to give you a test some day, huh?" He smiled at her. She nodded uncertainly, and drew an aquamarine beyblade from her pocket.

"This is Fioen." Kai smiled again at the note of defensive pride in Katy's voice. Fioen was a pure white fox.

"Ice?" he asked. Katy nodded. A thought seemed to strike her as she looked at the two other ex-Biovolts.

"Um…are you two together?" she questioned, blushing furiously. Kai grinned.

"No. We're both currently searching for the right girl." Katy frowned.

"But, surely Sara-" She broke off as realisation struck her. "You're a dyke?" Sara nodded, her face carefully neutral. An odd expression crossed Katy's face.

"That a problem?" Sara asked casually. Katy slowly shook her head. Suddenly, the shrill beeping of Kai's pager broke the silence. Kai looked at it, his eyes widening.

"Oh no…Oh hell, not her, please God!" He ran out of the room, ignoring Sara's concerned look.

Skidding to a stop by another hospital bed, he knelt down and took the limp hand that hung over the side.

"It's your time now, huh, Leanne?" he asked softly. The emaciated black-haired girl nodded painfully.

"Least Boris can't…hurt me no more…" she said slowly, forcing the words out. Kai's iron resolve faltered as he saw the eleven year-old girl's hold on life slipping.

"That's right, Leanne. He'll never touch you again." His voice nearly broke on the last word, but he forced it back. "You're safe now." He kissed the young girl's forehead. Her eyes fluttered open for a second, showing a flash of crimson.

"Bye…Kai…love…you…" Her voice faded away. Within seconds, she began to flat-line. Kai took her hand and held it tightly for a minute, before dropping it abruptly and turning away. Leanne had always been impossibly brave, never showing her feelings. He wouldn't spoil that by breaking down this close to her. Biting his lip furiously, he turned and headed home.

* * *

Wow, Kai has feelings! Loads of them! All opinions welcome, but please, no flames.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter! We see a weaker side to Kai - yay! I love writing stuff where he's not always in control!

* * *

Hilary shivered, wrapping her arms more tightly round her. Kai hadn't turned on the central heating when he'd left, and the flat was unpleasantly cool, her body still not fully recovered from its ordeal a few days earlier. Suddenly, the door banged open and Kai appeared in the doorway. Hilary flinched away from him, an instinctive reaction to the tight, hard look on his face. He strode up and stared at her for a few seconds, before turning away and walking to a cupboard in the wall, fiddling with it.

"It should get warmer in a few minutes." he said curtly. He paused. "You've been crying." Hilary nodded, colouring slightly.

"I'm sorry Kai, it's just-"

"Not now, Hilary. Later, okay? Not…now." She looked at him, her concern roused by the slight shake in his voice. She stepped forwards, holding out a hand.

"Kai-" Kai turned away and left the room in a hurry.

"Leave me alone." he said softly. Hilary heard the whisper and her heart clenched in pity. As silently as she could, she hobbled towards the office door, which was slightly ajar. She peered through and had to grip the doorway to stop herself from rushing in.

Kai was sitting behind his desk, head buried in his folded arms, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Quietly, Hilary backed away and went back to her bedroom. She had read three chapters of her thriller book before she re-read it and realised that she hadn't taken in a word.

A hour later, Hilary was getting herself a drink of water, balancing awkwardly on one leg, when Kai came in and sat heavily down on a chair. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot and his hair was tangled and untidy.

"D-Do you want a drink?" Hilary asked nervously. Kai looked up and blinked.

"What? Yeah, okay." he said tonelessly. Hilary set her untouched drink in front of him and set about making herself another one. She hobbled over and sat down opposite him, taking a sip from her glass.

"You know, the idea of a drink is that you drink it, not stare at it like it's an alien thing from another planet," she said archly. She couldn't help herself. Kai looked at her for a brief second, his eyes flashing with irritation, then he looked down again, swallowing half of his drink in one go. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Kai?" Hilary asked timidly. "Um…if it's not too rude…what's the matter?"

"You wouldn't understand." Kai told her brusquely. Hilary let out an exasperated groan.

"God, why do boys always say that when they can't be bothered-"

"No, you really wouldn't understand. There are things you'd need to know." Kai said impatiently.

He looked away from Hilary's searching gaze. She knew nothing of Voltaire, of Biovolt; of Black Dranzer…she knew nothing. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, groaning inwardly at the familiar heavy feeling in his chest. He couldn't cope all the time, it wasn't his fault. No one knew what it was like, watching as his own grandfather's legacy poisoned hundreds of children, as he had been poisoned. No one would ever know. He would never let anyone in that far. No one had ever gone in that far, although Ray had come dangerously close, and if he could help it, no one ever would.

"Oh yeah, things that I'm too stupid to understand?" He brought his head back up, surprised at the angry note in Hilary's voice.

Hilary took a deep breath, everything that she'd ever wanted to say spilling out at once. "You have no idea how sick I am of hearing that! When Tyson had that massive temper tantrum during the second World Championships, it was "You wouldn't understand, Hilary." Oh, I understood! When you decided that you were going to quit the team because you hadn't protected Wyatt and I managed to convince you to stay, nobody seemed to notice that either! Then…" She stopped, drawing in another shaky breath.

"Then, when you all decided to split the team up, did any of you tell me? Did I even get a look in? No. You were all prepared to forget about everything that you'd ever done together, just to win some stupid title! Did the Bladebreakers really mean that little to you all? You have no fucking clue what it was like, watching Tyson crumple as you all left him one by one, hearing him wake up crying at two in the morning. You left me…you left us without so much as an explanation, left me to watch my team fight each other, rip each other to pieces, just for the sake of a title and a trophy." She paused, tears streaming down her face.

"You were my boys, my team, the best friends a girl could ever have. Now… Max and Ray won't talk to each other because of some stupid argument that they had over who was stronger, everything's changed, and I hate it!" She screamed the last words in Kai's still face. "And you! You're the worst of them all! Twice you left us; twice you abandoned us, just so that you could get a chance at winning the World Championships! Were we really that bad?" Damn it, her cool was well and truly blown now. She angrily wiped a hand across her streaming eyes. "All I ever wanted…" Her voice trailed off, shaking with held-back sobs. "All I ever wanted was for my friends to stay friends. Is that really so much to ask?" The two of them stood still, an uncomfortable, edgy silence settling over the kitchen. Kai stood up and drained his glass in one gulp. Without a backwards look, he left the room. Hilary turned around and hobbled off to the bedroom, her crutches clicking angrily on the floor.

Longingly, she imagined Tyson's arms around her, his velvety brown eyes radiating comfort. She didn't need to guess who had the benefit of those beautiful brown eyes now. Swearing brokenly under her breath, she flung herself down onto the bed and dragged the covers over her head.

"FUCK!" Hilary scrambled out of bed and, grabbing her crutches, raced into the kitchen, her protective instinct going haywire at the sound of the yell. She took the situation in quickly. A broken kettle lay on the floor, water leaking from it. Kai was doubled over, clutching at his left arm and swearing incoherently. Hilary hobbled over and ran a flannel that was lying on the counter under the cold tap.

"Move your hand," she ordered, flannel at the ready. Kai swore at her and didn't move, his grip tightening. "Kai, stop being such a twat!" she yelled angrily, tugging at his hand. Reluctantly, Kai let go, exposing a red, blistering arm. Hilary swore softly and slapped the icy-cold flannel over the burn. Kai flinched backwards, stumbling and grabbing hold of the counter to help him keep his balance. Hilary looked at him, and, seeing the dazed look in his eyes, slipped an arm round his waist. "Sit down." she ordered. Kai obeyed her, collapsing into a chair and closing his eyes. Hilary sat next to him and dampened the flannel again.

"Thought you hated me." Kai said hoarsely.

"I'm going to ignore that comment." Hilary said flatly. "Now, pull yourself together." Kai nodded and took a deep breath.

"Fuck, did I ever go to pieces." he said at last. Hilary gave a dry laugh.

"Yeah, you could say that." she agreed. "You okay now?"

"Yeah…think so…" Kai said faintly. Hilary looked at him sharply.

"No, you're not." she told him firmly. "What's the matter?"

"I'm just a bit shocked still, it's nothing." Hilary narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, nothing and I'm a bar of soap. Come on, you need to lie down for a bit." She stood up and tugged ineffectually at his arm. "Come on, you idiot!" Suddenly, Kai stood, knocking her off balance. She wobbled on her one good leg and resigned herself to a hard and painful meeting with the floor. A strong arm caught her and steadied her carefully.

"You okay?" a hoarse voice asked. Hilary nodded and made the mistake of looking up. She was all of three centimetres away from Kai, who was staring down at her intently. Hilary gazed up at him as an old flame was rekindled. The room seemed to fall away until there was nothing except the two of them. Slowly, Kai brought a hand up and cupped Hilary's cheek gently. Hilary swallowed reflexively and continued staring. Her muscles were temporarily turned to jelly and she knew that if Kai tried to kiss her she wouldn't be able to stop him.

Would I even want to? she asked herself, instantly dismissing the thought from her mind. She didn't try to move, wanting to stay in the silent, peaceful limbo for as long as she could. _Wanting Kai to kiss her…_

Suddenly, a door slammed somewhere below them. They both blinked and started backwards, muttering apologies. Hilary turned away and went back to her room, her head spinning. What had just happened?

She rubbed her lower abdomen gently, a dull ache throbbing under her hand. She closed her eyes. A few minutes later, she reluctantly opened them again, scowling at the familiar dampness in her knickers. With a muffled swearword, she got up and hobbled around until she found the bathroom.

"Oh, fuck it." she swore softly, staring at the redness staining her knickers. "Why now?"

Kai rested his head in his hands for few seconds. Suddenly, his mobile phone rang. Automatically, he picked it up.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Kai. You okay? I heard about Leanne."

"Mm."

"So, that's a no in Kai-speak, then." Sara said dryly. "Seriously, though?"

"I'll live. How's Katy?"

"Oh, she's doing fine. She's a pretty good blader, you really should take a look."

"Mm. Maybe later." He heard Sara sigh and winced.

_Shit. Here comes the lecture…_

Hilary hobbled into the kitchen, cursing her body inventively.

"Hey, Kai?" she asked, ignoring the fact that he was on the phone. "Where's the supermarket or chemist or something like that?" Kai put the phone down, leaving the person on the other end still able to hear everything.

"Why?" he asked. "What do you want?" Hilary coloured slightly.

"Something. And I'm getting it."

"Oh no you're not," Kai countered. "How would you get down the stairs? I'll go."

"Read. My. Lips." Hilary said slowly. "You are not getting-" She blushed furiously. "what I need."

"Yes, I _am_ - hold on a sec…" Kai picked up the mobile again. Hilary listened to the one-sided conversation. "Yes, she is the girl I was talking about, no she's not…Sara, you have a fucking sick mind…no she isn't single…yes, feel free to talk your mouth off. In fact, please do." Kai held the phone out to her. "Sara wants to talk to you." he told her. He smirked at her unsure expression. "It's okay, she's not as insane as I'm sure she just sounded. You'll like her." Tentatively, Hilary took the phone.

"Hello?" she said nervously.

"Hiya. I'm Sara. I kinda heard that you need to get something?" a girl asked in a warm, husky drawl. Hilary nodded, then remembered that she was on the phone.

"Yeah. I'm like, on, and there's no way in hell I'm letting Kai know!" she hissed, hobbling to the door.

"Cool. Me, I doubt that he even knows what it is." Sara joked. Hilary laughed. "So, whadd'ya need? Pads or tampons?"

"Um…pads would be good, please."

"Any particular size?"

"Large, please."

"Okay, sorted. I'll go do that now. I'll be there in about ten minutes, 'kay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Cool. 'Bye." There was a click as Sara hung up. Hilary handed the phone back to Kai and hobbled away. She felt uncomfortable being too near Kai at the moment.

Exactly ten minutes later, the doorbell rang.

"That'll be Sara, Hilary!" Kai called.

"Okay!" Hilary yelled. She hobbled towards the door and opened it.

A girl her own age stood outside, holding a plastic bag. She had wavy, tawny hair that reached to her shoulders, and clear green eyes. She was wearing a light pink T-shirt over black leggings.

"Heya. I got your stuff." Sara said lightly.

"Thanks." Hilary replied, taking the bag.

"Mind if I come in?" Sara was already halfway across the threshold.

"I don't know. Do you?" Hilary said dryly. Sara looked back at her and laughed.

"Hey, my manners are utter crap, I know. You gonna go and get yourself sorted, then?" Hilary nodded, hurrying off to the bathroom.

When she came back, she stood next to the kitchen door and listened. She couldn't help it, she was curious to see what relationship Sara and Kai had.

"So, what happened to Hilary, then?" Sara asked.

"I don't really know." Kai replied curtly. "I found her unconscious down an alleyway a few days ago."

"You two know each other, right?"

"Yes. She was in the Bladebreakers."

"Why're you being so abrupt again, Kai?"

"Because she's listening." Hilary blushed furiously, hearing the faintly amused note in Kai's voice. Still blushing slightly, she went into the kitchen.

"Hi." she said to no one in particular.

"Hi, Hilary." Sara replied. She gave Kai a shrewd look. "Come on, bastard. Say hello."

"Mm." Kai nodded in Hilary's direction and leaned back in his chair. Sara sighed in frustration.

"Ignore him," she told Hilary disgustedly.

"Oh, I do." Hilary giggled.

Kai closed his eyes and listened to the two girls chatter on. And on…and on…

"What?" Sara's exclamation made him open his eyes. Sara met his gaze accusingly. "Kai, you've never told her about Voltaire?"

"No. How did he come up in the conversation anyway?" Kai said curtly. Both Sara and Hilary shrugged at the same time.

"Dunno." they said in unison. They laughed nervously.

"So?" Hilary demanded. "Who is this Voltaire person?

"A traitorous, lying, cheating, manipulative, megalomaniac, abusive, paedophilic, murdering bastard who's in jail for hopefully another ten years at the minimum." Kai said tonelessly. Sara glared at him. He sighed. "And he's my grandfather." he muttered, looking as far away from Hilary as possible.

"Y-your _grandfather_?" Hilary squeaked. Kai nodded curtly. "Right, mister, I want more information!"

"No you don't." Kai told her quietly. Hilary got up and stood directly in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

"Tell me." It wasn't an order, it was a plea. Kai gritted his teeth and said nothing. "Tell me, damn you!" Hilary said fiercely. Kai sighed again and dropped his head into his hands so that he wouldn't need to look at her.

"You know Boris?" he said abruptly. Hilary nodded, an expression of disgust on her face.

"Wish I didn't."

"Well, he was one of Voltaire's henchmen. Remember what everyone was saying when they saw Boris again? About how he had tried to take over the world using bit-beasts?" Silence.

"Look at her, Kai, you twat. She just nodded." Sara said scathingly. Kai raised his head slightly and stared at the table.

"What they failed to mention was that the guy in charge of all that was Voltaire. They didn't mention the Abbey, either."

"The what?" Hilary asked bluntly.

"The Abbey. Basically, Voltaire's plan was to take over the world using bit-beasts. He trained kids at this abbey, trained them to absorb people's bit-beasts and use them for themselves. I was born in the Abbey, stayed there until I was about nine. Then…oh, it's too complicated to explain now, but I left at the age of nine, repressing all memories of it. Voltaire found me again, then simply carried on training me at home, avoiding bringing back my memories. I didn't get them back until I was fifteen. The first World Championships." Hilary gasped softly. "So, what Sara and I do is we help all the people that Voltaire and Boris hurt." Kai finished.

"That has to be the sketchiest telling of that story I've ever heard you do, Kai." Sara said brusquely.

"It's enough." Kai muttered. Sara fairly glowed with irritation.

"Hey, Hilary? Hilary looked at her.

"Yeah?"

"Just in case you're doubting Kai's story, take a look." She bent down and pulled up her trouser leg. Branded deep into the tanned skin were three letters. "That's B for Biovolt, H for Hitwarti, and V for Voltaire." she told Hilary, tracing the letters with her index finger. "And this," She turned her arm so that Hilary could see a round scar. "This is where they…disciplined us." Hilary stared at it.

"With what?" she asked, not too sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"An electric cattle prod." Sara said, with a brief, humourless smile. Hilary gasped again, her mind reeling.

"That's enough." Kai's curt voice rose over them. "She doesn't need to hear any more." He stood up and walked over until he was looking down at her. "One secret for another, Hilary." His voice was quiet. Hilary shook her head.

"No. Not yet." she said determinedly Sara's gaze flicked between the two of them uneasily.

"It's fair, Hils. My secrets for yours." Hilary stood up, her eyes blazing with sudden anger.

"You should have thought about what was fair a long, long time ago, Kai. About the same time that you lost the right to call me Hils."

"What? Only lover-boy Tyson's allowed call you that now?" Kai said coldly, a malicious smirk on his face. Tears rising in her eyes, Hilary took one step forwards and slapped him hard round the face. Kai clapped a hand to his burning cheek, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Bitch!" he hissed.

"Stuck up git!" Hilary shot back. "After all I've done for you, you won't-"

"Oh wow, you stopped me leaving the team a couple of times. I managed it eventually, didn't I?" Kai growled.

"You know what I did, Kai. You know exactly what I did. And you owe me so much I can't even begin to count it." Anger drying her tears, Hilary turned on her heels and hobbled out of the room as fast as the crutches would let her.

Sara watched, worried, as Kai turned away abruptly and went over to the counter, his eyes glittering with tears. She came up behind him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"You okay, mate?" Kai shook his head slightly. He put up a hand and gently touched his cheek where Hilary had slapped him.

"I shouldn't've done that. I just couldn't stand…I couldn't stand her knowing it all…" He broke off abruptly and drew Dranzer from his pocket. "I just…want her to stay innocent. She barely knows so anything about me. I want to keep it that way."

"Why?" Sara's voice was unusually gentle, her hand rubbing Kai's shoulder comfortingly.

"I don't trust anyone easily, Sara. You know that. But the very time first time I saw Hilary…she knocked down all my barriers. I trusted her instantly. I'm not going to share my past with her until I've figured out what I feel for her. I think she's run away from home, she isn't going to want to know all the gory details," he added quickly. Sara nodded. She looked down and saw the now-dry flannel on Kai's arm. She touched it gently, raising her eyebrows. "I knocked the kettle over." was the brief answer. Sara peeled it off carefully and saw the reddened skin.

"Nasty." she said quietly. Kai nodded. Suddenly, all the fight went out of him, and he slumped against her, his eyelids drooping. Sara swore. She knew this occurrence well; it was a favourite of Abbey students. When you can't cope any more, just shut down until you've sorted yourself out. Cursing in a long, unbroken stream, she hauled him into his bedroom and pushed him down onto his bed. "Go to sleep, Kai. I'll see myself out." she told him firmly. His eyelids fluttered as he tried to look at her. "Go. To. Sleep." Sara repeated. His eyes closed, his body sinking into the mattress as he relaxed. "Dumb, stubborn git." Sara grumbled to herself as she walked out. She knocked on Hilary's door, but was greeted with a sobbed "Go away." Sighing to herself, Sara walked out of the flat. She allowed herself a thin, humourless smile as she checked her watch.

"It's only six o'clock. They're both gonna be up half the night." she said quietly to herself. Hilary hadn't been asleep, but Sara would bet all the money she had on her that she would be in less than half an hour. She sighed yet again and walked off, with one last glance towards the flat.

_Hilary backed away as Tyson and Max stood practically nose-to nose, yelling at each other. The scene was so familiar it made Hilary's heart ache. Tyson loved her, she loved Tyson. Why did Max decide to have the one thing that Tyson refused to share? _

_"How many times, you stupid fuck! Hilary is mine!" Tyson raged. Max screamed an answer. Hilary put her hands over her ears, wishing that it would stop. Suddenly, it did. She looked up nervously. The two boys were staring at each other, their gazes intense and furious. Something seemed to snap inside Max and he moved forwards. Hilary opened her mouth to yell a warning, but what she saw next froze the words in her throat. The two boys were kissing fiercely, Max's hands tangling in Tyson's hair, pulling him closer. Hearing her shocked gasp, they drew back, panting slightly._

_"What…what are you doing?" Hilary stammered. Tyson had the grace to colour furiously. Max just gave her a slightly dazed look of jealous satisfaction. "Have you been planning this, huh, Tyson?" Hilary asked, her voice rising with her temper. "Was all this just a way for you two to do…that?" Tyson took a step forwards._

_"Hilary, I'm so sorry, I-I had no idea Max was going to do that-"_

_"So? You still liked it, didn't you? Hilary screamed. "Didn't you?" Tyson ducked his head and stared miserably at the floor. Hilary shuddered and walked forwards until they were less than three centimetres apart. "What happened to "Hilary is mine", then?" she hissed fiercely. She turned away and began to walk out of the room. "Oh, and in case you're wondering how Max plucked up the courage, he's pissed out of his mind. Take a look." With that final, contemptuous comment, she left, slamming the door as hard as she possibly could. She strode angrily out of the house, tears pouring down her face. "We're finished, Tyson. D'you hear me? Finished." she muttered through her sobs._

_She packed rapidly, then left her house, still crying, not knowing where to go, just knowing that she couldn't stay here one moment longer._

_"I'm serious, Kai! I want to battle you!" Tyson's yell echoed after Kai as he walked out of the battle area. Kai smiled slightly and raised an aching arm in salute. "Does that mean yes?" He chuckled despite himself at Tyson's persistence._

_He stumbled down the corridor. Every breath was an effort, every step agony, the walls blurring before his eyes. He kept going. Just a bit further, then he could lie down…have a rest… He legs gave way and he fell to his knees, slumping against the wall. His eyelids fluttered as he forced himself to stay awake. He was useless. He had barely been able to beat Brooklyn. To make matters worse, he had purposefully joined Boris' side, the man who had beaten and abused him as a child, all to satisfy his own ego. He was pathetic. A waste of space. He fumbled for Dranzer, holding the beyblade in his shaking hand. He could feel Dranzer straining to hide the degree that Kai had pushed him to, the blade only staying together by the bit-beast's spirit. He didn't deserve such a loyal partner…_

_"Dranzer," he murmured. "It's okay. You can go." The beyblade fell from his limp hand and rolled until the bit chip was facing him. Then, slowly, seeing that Kai was resolute, Dranzer left the bit chip as the beyblade splintered into thousands of tiny pieces. Kai shut his eyes, feeling dizziness wash over him in waves. Unable to move, he waited for unconscious, the world shrinking to the wall that he was leaning on and Dranzer's shrieks as the bit-beast tried to find a way back into the shattered blade. "The chip's broken, Dranzer," he whispered. Everything hurt… "You can't get back in…I'm sorry…" He knew what he'd just done, but he couldn't undo it…he was so tired… His weakness finally overcoming him, he slipped to one side and lay still, his breathing dangerously slow._

_"Kai!" He tried to open his eyes as a familiar voice drew him back into the world. "Oh God, Kai…" Someone was kneeling down by him. "This is Hilary, Kai. Try to stay awake for me." Kai tried to tell her about Dranzer, tried to ask for help, but all that came out was a faint moan. "It's okay, Kai, you'll be fine…" The panicked tone in Hilary's voice told him otherwise._

_"Hilary…" He coughed, blood trickling down his chin. The effort of speaking made his head spin. "Dranzer…help him…" He heard Hilary stand up. "What have you done, Kai?" she gasped eventually. Kai blinked slowly as she pressed something into his hand. "Call Dranzer." she urged. "It's a bit chip. Dranzer will come back, I promise you." Kai summoned up all the fading strength he had left in him and made a mental plead for his beloved partner. He felt sudden warmth touch his cheek and a rushing sensation as the phoenix disappeared back where it belonged. A gentle hand caressed his cheek. "It's okay, Kai. Just hold on. Please…" He shook his head very slightly. If he were going to die now, at least he would die with Dranzer with him again._

_"Too...tired…let me go…" he murmured._

_"No!" He felt a flash of surprise at her angry tone. "I'm not just going to let you go, Kai!" She fumbled for his pulse. Kai already knew what it was; he could feel it beating in his head. Slow…so slow… "You're not leaving me again!" She was sobbing now. "Come on Kai, don't give up like this! Please!" He felt her lips touch against his. "You're not leaving me! Please Kai, please…don't leave me again." She kissed him harder, her tears wetting his face. Slowly, painfully, he raised a hand to her cheek. _

_"Why…do you…care?" he choked out. Blood trickled from his bitten tongue, the taste bitter in his mouth. Hilary took his hand and held it gently._

_"You're my boys, Kai. All of you. And I'm not letting you escape me." He looked blurrily up at her, seeing the tearful smile on her face. "Hold Dranzer, Kai, and wait here, okay?" Kai obeyed her automatically. Time faded again, and there was just the sound of his harsh, laboured breathing and the memory of her soft lips pressed to his. Suddenly, the sound of many footsteps burst into his head. He felt himself being loaded onto a stretcher and carried along. Waves of dizziness washed over him again. He moaned in pain, wanting to give up, needing to give up, -_

_"Don't you dare, Kai! Fight it!" Hilary told him frantically. Kai nodded weakly, feeling his breathing ease as an oxygen mask was slipped over his head._

_Fight it, Kai…_

_I am fighting it, Hilary…I am…_

* * *

Does anyone think they know who Leanne was? And did anyone see the whole Max/Tyson thing? (truthfully, now!)


	3. Chapter 3

Next chapter's up! Read and enjoy!

* * *

Hilary sat up in bed, rubbing at her eyes furiously. She had no idea it was possible to cry while you were asleep. Sniffing the last of the tears back, she took a deep breath. With a silent sigh, she climbed out of bed, her throat unpleasantly dry. Grumbling softly, she limped towards the kitchen. Her ankle hurt abdominally, but she couldn't be bothered to find the crutches. She leaned on the counter for a few seconds, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

_Tyson…why…_ She dragged her mind from that soul-destroying question and held a glass under the tap. She checked the clock on the wall. She had been asleep for about five hours, which would explain why she felt so wide-awake at eleven o'clock. Her ears suddenly picked up a faint noise coming from Kai's bedroom. Intrigued despite herself, she limped in, swearing mentally as her ankle started to give way.

Kai was lying in bed with the covers drawn up, twitching slightly. Hilary looked closer, frowning at the strained look on his face, as if he was in pain. She limped further in, her ankle sending red-hot bolts of pain up her leg.

"Ow…shit, that hurt! Kai? Wake up!" she whispered. Kai stirred and his eyes flickered open, dull, blank amethyst.

"H-Hilary?" She had never heard him sound so…vulnerable before.

"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?" she asked, limping closer. He tried to shrug, his face even paler than normal.

"Nothing." Hilary glared at him, sitting down on the bed with a sigh of relief. "I remembered… you know…after I fought Brooklyn." Hilary nodded, remembering it only too well. "I'm just a bit…" He trailed off and said a word in Russian, closing his eyes again. Worried, Hilary leaned forwards and placed a hand gently on his forehead, checking for a temperature. His eyes opened again. "I'm not ill, Hilary. Just tired, that's all." Hilary grinned, hearing the familiar curt tone in his voice, which up until now had been faint and unsteady.

"That's more like it, Kai!" she laughed. Kai smiled slightly and pushed himself into a sitting position.

"I'm sorry…about what I said." he said uncomfortably. Hilary stopped grinning and shrugged equally uncomfortably.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was really shitty to you, and I shouldn't've been." Hilary shrugged again. "What's wrong?" Hilary was silent for a long time, not trusting her voice.

"Do you…do you really want to know why I left home?" Kai nodded. Hilary took a deep breath, shivering as the cool night air went straight through her flimsy T-shirt. She hadn't bothered to change into any kind of nightwear, simply taking off her jumper and crying herself to sleep where she had been lying.

"Here." She looked. Kai was holding out a dark-green dressing gown. "You're cold." She took it from him, nodding her thanks as she wrapped the soft, warm dressing gown round herself. She swung her legs backwards and forwards, wondering where to start.

"Okay. I won't bother you with the how and why, but Tyson and I started going out about three months after you left." She blushed slightly, thinking about it. "Everything went great until about four months ago, when Max decided that he wanted me as well." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kai raise an eyebrow in surprise. She smiled sadly. "Yeah, unexpected, huh? We all thought that Mariam and him were an item, but apparently not." She curled a strand of hair loosely around her finger. "So, it turned into a bit of a battleground, because, of course, Tyson wouldn't give me up without a fight. So, about two weeks ago, they were standing in Tyson's living room, yelling at each other loud enough to break your eardrums. Max was off his head at the time, but I didn't realise that until afterwards. I tried to get them to stop, but they had stopped listening to me about six days before. Suddenly, they both went silent. I looked up at them, and…" She trailed off, fighting back a sob.

"And they kissed, right?" She stared at Kai.

"Yeah. How did you guess?" she asked, astounded.

"Oh, just one of my many talents." Kai replied, with a smirk. Hilary scowled.

"So, of course, I went slightly nuts and started yelling at Tyson like a demon. The dumb git stood there and tried to reason with me, but I just asked him whether he'd liked it not. That fucking shut him up!" She punched the duvet angrily, tears bulging in the corners of her eyes. "I just - ran. I couldn't take being near either of them any more. I just packed my bags and left." She laughed bitterly. "They're welcome to each other!" There was a long silence. Hilary picked at a loose thread in the dressing gown and shoved the tears back where they belonged.

"I'm so sorry." Kai's quiet voice made her turn to him. She shrugged.

"Hey, I'll get over it eventually," she said bravely. "But…thanks. It means a lot." A thought struck her and she swivelled round until she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing Kai. "You know what's kind of ironic?" Kai shook his head. "If I actually think about it, going out with Tyson wasn't that great. It was just like before, except when we argued, we'd kiss to make up."

"Just kiss?" Kai asked, smirking. Hilary blushed and swatted him round the head.

"Yeah, that was another thing. He wasn't that good in bed, either. It was okay, but I never really climaxed or anything. And…he was…kinda small…not I have anyone else to compare him with…" She was blushing fiercely now, partly at Kai's stifled hysterics. "So, I don't really know why I'm so upset." she finished, her whole face on fire.

"I think I know…hold on a sec, gotta stop laughing…" Kai took a deep breath and managed to bring himself under control. "It's because he was your first crush, the first person you ever had feelings for. That's why you're still holding on, because you're afraid that if you let go, there'll be nothing left." Hilary nodded slowly, seeing the truth in that. "You and Tyson are more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend anyway."

"Yeah, I've thought that a couple of times." Hilary agreed. Suddenly, her stomach grumbled loudly. She blushed yet again. "Sorry," she apologised quickly.

"Don't worry. You haven't eaten for about ten hours."

"Neither have you!" Hilary pointed out. Kai frowned.

"Oh yeah, so I haven't. Shall we go and get something to eat, then?" he suggested, pulling the covers off him and standing up. Hilary stood up quickly and swore loudly as she lost her balance, her sprained ankle burning with pain.

"Oh..._hell_!" She wobbled around frantically on her good leg. Kai caught her round the waist and steadied her.

"Why haven't you got the crutches?" Hilary shrugged.

"Couldn't be stuffed." Kai grinned at the sassy reply. The slightly tense atmosphere, a leftover from their row five hours and a half ago, had disappeared.

"Idiot." he remarked absentmindedly. "Now then, let's go get something to eat!"

"Not before time! My stomach thinks my throat's been cut!"

"That can be arranged, but you'd probably prefer some food…"

Hilary licked her lips as she stared at the burger that sat in front of her. Kai watched her with amusement.

"Well? Eat it, then!" He laughed at the glare she shot him. Taking an apple out of the fruit bowl that stood on the table, he wandered out. "I'll be back in a sec, okay?" he yelled.

"'Kay!" came the muffled answer. Kai smiled and walked into the one room Hilary hadn't been in yet. It was what he thought of as his training room. In it was a few things for exercising, a punching bag, a set of weights, and, most importantly, a beydish. He launched Dranzer in one swift, fluid motion, the beyblade landing in the exact centre of the dish. The bit-chip started glowing almost instantly, sparks flying from it.

"Feisty tonight, are we, Dranzer?" Kai murmured, a predatory gleam in his eye. "I'll soon sort that out." The magnificent phoenix burst from the beyblade with an eager shriek. Kai smoothly unwound his scarf from his neck and threw it to the floor, his eyes narrowing in anticipation.

"Go, Dranzer!"

Hilary blinked and swallowed her last mouthful of burger. So that was what Kai was doing, the crafty sod! The room was soundproofed, but Hilary hadn't spent five, nearly six years hanging round with world-class beybladers for nothing, and the astounding power of the phoenix fizzed through her blood. She got up and limped painfully towards where it was coming from. She stood in front of the door and felt heat wash over her, her whole body twitching in response to Dranzer, only a vague idea about privacy stopping her from going inside. The sheer magnitude of it nearly overwhelmed her; it was far stronger than she remembered. She let herself sink to the floor and sat, listening to the wild song that coursed through her blood.

"Dranzer! Blazing Gig!" Kai flung his head back, every muscle bunched and taut, watching as the flames licked up the wall, the power that was flooding through his veins making him shudder. "DRANZER!" he bellowed, spread-eagling his arms. The phoenix nearly doubled in size, shrieking out a joyful cry as it unleashed its final burst of strength. With a satisfied nod, Kai recalled the beyblade to his hand, panting heavily. Sweat was pouring off him and he was slightly light-headed from the combination of heat and exertion. With a contented sigh, he went over to where a bowl of water stood and dunked his head in swiftly, shaking his now-wet hair furiously to get rid of the excess droplets. "That's better," he murmured. As he started to remember what Hilary had told him, he found himself automatically launching Dranzer again. The sight of the blue beyblade spinning in the middle of the dish helped him think. What had really caught his attention? Oh yes, the whole Max-kissing-Tyson thing.

Before he had left, he had seen Max looking at Tyson with something approaching lust in his eyes. So theoretically, Max probably hadn't wanted Hilary at all, it had all been an elaborate scam to get him to Tyson. He didn't like thinking that Max could be so manipulative, it felt wrong, but it made perfect sense.

_How could anyone pretend to like her…it's hard enough to-_ He cut himself off mid-thought, a familiar heavy feeling settling over his heart. He felt a warmth touch his arm softly. He looked up and smiled, raising a hand and laying it on Dranzer's glowing feathers.

Hilary pulled herself upright and wobbled into the room. She stopped, transfixed by what she was seeing.

Kai was standing in front of the beydish, his clothes and hair soaked with sweat, his skin tinged pink. One hand was stretched out and gently stroking Dranzer's beak. The expression on his face was one of such sadness and resignation that she felt tears rising up inside her yet again.

"Kai?" At the sound of her voice, he dropped his hand to his launcher, his face wary. Dranzer soared to the other side of the dish. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…" Hilary apologised hurriedly. Kai's face relaxed slightly and he shrugged, as if to say, "it doesn't matter"

"I didn't know that you could touch Dranzer, Kai." Hilary said cautiously. Kai gave her a thin smile.

"Well, you can. Do you want to?" he asked abruptly. Hilary blinked, a smile creeping unbidden onto her face.

"C-Could I?" she asked timidly, gazing at the radiant phoenix.

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" Kai said bluntly. He gestured, and Dranzer flew forwards, landing just in front of her. Hilary gazed at the sacred bit beast in wonderment. She had never been this close before, had never been allowed to actually _touch_ one… Hesitantly, she reached up and placed her hand on Dranzer's scarlet head. Dranzer cawed in encouragement and nudged her hand playfully. Smiling, Hilary rubbed the top of his head gently.

A few minutes later, she became aware of Kai, who was just standing there, looking fixedly at a spot on the wall.

"Kai? What's wrong?" she asked anxiously, withdrawing her hand. Dranzer let out a quiet squawk and pushed her towards Kai with his beak. She walked over and rested a hand on his arm. "Kai?" she repeated nervously. Kai blinked, his gaze flicking to her for a split second.

"Nothing. I was just thinking…if it weren't for you…I wouldn't have Dranzer. I can't imagine life without him." Hilary sat down heavily, her ankle hurting intensely. She knew what he was talking about. Of course she did. How could she forget?

"Yeah, well, I thought you weren't gonna have a life!" she said fiercely. "I've never been so scared in my life!"

"Yeah." Kai sat down next to her. "I didn't think I did, either."

"I know." Hilary said softly. "You kept telling me to just let you go." Slowly, uncertainly, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him.

"But you didn't, did you? You wouldn't let me go…" She felt Kai's arms coming round her, holding her tightly. He was warm and slightly damp with sweat, his torso hard and muscular. "You know people say that just before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? Well, mine did then.

"Everything…everything I've ever said, ever done…" Hilary felt his head drop onto her shoulder. "I saw it all, and I can't say I was satisfied. All my life, I've been unable to show my emotions, and contemptuous to the people who could. I've treated people like shit for as long as I can remember. That's why I started helping my grandfather's victims. Not because I knew what they've gone through, not out of sympathy. Out of my own selfish need, just like everything else I've ever done." Hilary rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, hearing the bitter, self-hating tone in his voice.

"It's okay, Kai." she whispered. "No one blames you." Kai's head shifted on her shoulder.

"Yeah? Well, I do." he said tetchily. Hilary flicked him gently on the arm.

"Yeah, but who cares about you?" she murmured teasingly. Kai smiled and pulled away slightly. Their eyes met. The sheer intensity of Kai's gaze swept her away. Kai's hand slowly slid under the dressing gown, stroking her stomach through the thin T-shirt. Hilary caught her breath, as an alien mixture of fear and passion flooded through her.

_A dark memory of someone crushing her to his chest, muffling her terrified screams, hard, rough hands groping her …_

Controlling herself, she grasped Kai's wrist and pulled it out. "No, Kai. Please. I can't…I can't do this..." Kai's eyes flashed with irritation for a moment, then calmed again. He gave her an unreadable look and stood up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't've done that." he said tonelessly, preparing to walk away. Hilary opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. She watched through rapidly blurring eyes as Kai left the room. Slowly, the tears began to fall.

Hilary opened her eyes slowly, her eyelids sticky from the tears that she had failed to wipe away. Her head pounded. Grey, dim light struggled in through the small window, the muffled howl of the snow-laden wind echoing her sobs of hours earlier. Tears for the loss of her first love, her best friend, her brother, tears for the splintered friendships of the boys she loved like family, tears for herself, because her ankle hurt and she felt too drained to think clearly. Tears for the sudden attraction she felt for Kai, because he was, and had always been, unattainable.

There. She'd said it. She was starting to feel something for Kai. Did that mean that she was betraying Tyson? But how could it, they were over…

_Betraying Tyson with the one person he had always relied on…_ She shook the pessimistic thought from her head and groaned mentally as it was replaced with a thousand others. Kai was unreachable. That was all there was to it. He would never want her. She couldn't beyblade, she had a panic attack if he touched her, she was nothing to him. A past team mate, a friend at the most. A thought was struggling to form at the edge of her foggy mind, but she pushed it away and burrowed under the covers again. She just wanted to sleep until she felt better.

Kai downed a mug of coffee in a single gulp, gulping instinctively as the heat hit his throat. He played idly with the end of his scarf, remembering when one very like it had been reduced to a few tattered shreds by a power that threatened to destroy everything he loved. He reached up and touched his cheek gently, remembering the light touch of Hilary's hand and lips as she pleaded with him to live. He was jolted out of his daze when his mobile rang, the shrill, metallic tune blasting through the silent kitchen. Clumsily, he took it out of his pocket.

"Yeah?" His voice was thick and slightly slurred. His tongue was furry and dry, his head buzzing with caffeine.

"What's up with you, Kai?" Sara demanded. "You sound utterly crap."

"I do?"

"You most definitely do."

"Oh." He yawed silently, unsure whether to add anything else.

"You feel okay?" He blinked, wondering what to say. "Kai? Tell me what you feel like." Damn it, he hated it when Sara tried to psychoanalyse him. Mainly because she was bloody good at it. "Kai?"

"I'm fine!" he snapped, anger burning away a little of the lethargy that had consumed him. "I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all!" He could practically hear Sara bristling.

"Well then, Mr I'm-fine, we've got a lot of work to do today! Some of which will be you testing Katy's abilities, so bring Dranzer!"

"When am I ever apart from him?" He was feeling _much_ more wide-awake now...

"When you're depressed. Like now."

"I am not depressed!" Kai growled angrily.

"Yeah. Right. The sky's bright green and I'm straight, too." Sara drawled sarcastically. "Meet me round mine, okay? Katy'll be there. Try and get into a better mood, please?" Kai snarled an obscure African swearword that he had got from one of his old girlfriend/sex toys at her and slammed down the phone, now fully awake and angry. Muttering furiously, he checked his clothes. Slightly messy, but just about acceptable. Not that he cared. He picked up his coat that was still hanging over the doorknob from the afternoon before and slammed out of the flat. Shrugging his coat on, he swung himself up onto his motorbike and took off at a speed that was, to say the least, dangerous.

"I WHAT!" Katy shrieked. "I am not good enough to face Kai! No way, no how…"

"Well, I'm sure Kai would be prepared to go easy on you…" Sara let the sentence trail off, knowing from experience how the dual emotions of pride and inferiority would be waging a fierce battle within the younger girl.

"No one goes easy on me!" Katy declared finally, transferring Fioen from her pocket to her hand and glaring at Sara defiantly.

"No, honey, I can imagine." Sara said sweetly, ignoring the suspicious, slightly exasperated look coming from Katy's hazel eyes. The roar of a motorbike interrupted her game of annoying people. She was pretty darn good at it, even if she did say so herself. That was two people nicely riled up, and just in time for their match… "That's Kai now." She sat back and silently counted to ten in her head. 1...2...3...4...5...- On six, the door was flung open.

Kai strode into the room and looked around, his anger cooling ever so slightly as he saw the nervous set of Katy's jaw.

"You ready to blade, kid?" he asked flatly, watched with unconcealed amusement as she stiffened at the "kid" comment.

"Ready." Katy replied, her voice unconsciously taking on the dead tone of the Abbey. In one, lightning swift movement, Kai kicked back the dark green rug in the middle of the floor and launched Dranzer into the exposed beydish. Fioen landed only a few seconds later, directly behind Dranzer. Instantly, Kai swerved, the most basic evasion move. Katy kept on him effortlessly, aquamarine chasing royal blue with apparent ease. Kai looked up at her briefly. The girl's face was a blank mask, all thoughts and emotions hidden. Just as she had been taught. Just as they had all been taught. Brushing away a wave of self-pity, Kai looked down again, only to find Katy considerably closer on his tail. He tried a double-swerve, first to the right, then the left. Fioen slowed for a second, uncertain, then smashed through the middle of the two directions, blocking the dodge. Kai continued to send Dranzer round the dish, trying to figure out Katy's weaknesses. Suddenly, Fioen slammed into the blue beyblade. Dranzer held steady, only rocking ever so slightly.

"Don't go easy on me, you motherfucker!" Katy demanded furiously. "You think you're so good? I'll show you just how good I am!" Fioen started to glow pale blue, a shape appearing from the misty radiance. A sheer white vixen stared at Kai, her navy eyes defiant. Kai felt the well-known, comforting battle rage rise up inside him. Without the need of a fancy introduction, Dranzer rose gracefully from the beyblade and shrieked his contempt for the colourless animal standing in front of him.

"You want a battle, Katy?" Kai asked, his voice now just as indifferent as Katy's had been. "You got what you wanted." Katy met his gaze steadily, but Kai could read the fear deep in her eyes. "Not so nice, is it?" he whispered.

"Fuck you." Katy whispered in reply. "Fioen, show him we mean business! Avalanche Storm!" she screamed. Fioen stood perfectly still, seeming to fade into her surroundings, which were getting whiter by the second. Finally, the hypnotising navy eyes closed and a large mass of snow engulfed Dranzer, falling without pause. The magnificent phoenix screeched in pain as the freezing snow and ice drenched its blazing scarlet feathers. Without a second's thought, Kai joined Dranzer's mind to his and took the full impact of the blizzard. Almost immediately, he realised his mistake. Katy's eyes lit up with a wintry light as she ordered Fioen to attack.

Ice and snow drove into him like knives. The surrounding area turned artic in seconds. Within seconds his skin was blue with cold. As he stood, paralysed for those few, vital seconds, he heard Dranzer screech again and felt a blinding pain shoot up his left arm. He wasn't sure whether Dranzer had screeched in pain or just as a warning. A split second later, he was sure. Fioen appeared from nowhere and pounced on him, knocking him to the floor, her navy eyes glittering like the ice that she represented. With difficulty, while Fioen was still waiting for orders, Kai lifted his head and looked with a kind of sickened acknowledgement at the blank look in Katy's hazel eyes. The same look that Bryan had worn when he half-killed Ray, the same look that Tala had worn against Tyson. For that matter, the same look that the master of the Wind Weasel bit beast had worn when he had tried to slice Kai into pieces and the one plastered onto Brooklyn's face when he had nearly succeeded where everyone else had failed except the World Champion. Beating him. The blankness that comes from giving yourself totally to the darker side of your bit beast, the part that likes to kill.

Fioen drew back then pounced on him again, her dagger-sharp teeth tearing into his thick jacket, drawing thin lines of blood. Kai lashed out with a fist, catching her smack in the nose. She was only a fox. He had fought like this with wolves before, in that match before he had faced Tyson, when he had made Tala give it everything he had. Foxes were nothing. With a surge of energy, he stood up, Fioen sliding off with a surprised whimper.

"Dranzer!" The massive phoenix screamed an answer and soared over, landing in front of him. "Let's show Katy what power's all about! Blazing Gig Turbo!" Dranzer burst into bright blue flames and dived at the vixen. "Dranzer!" The flames doubled in size. Heat swept through the room as the screeching, blazing beacon of sapphire flames pelted for the suddenly defenceless aquamarine beyblade. The met with a crash as the room disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

Kai caught Dranzer by instinct, unable to see until the light began to fade. "You all right, Katy?" he called.

"I-I think so…" Katy replied, her voice shaky. Kai made out her figure, on her knees a few metres away. Sara went over and quickly checked her over, pronounced her fine and made her sit down until she stopped trembling.

"Kai, sit down." she called over her shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You're bleeding, in case you hadn't noticed." Grumbling, he sank onto the sofa and allowed her to wrap a bandage round the shallow wound.

"Load of fuss over nothing…" he grumbled under his breath, wincing as Sara pulled the bandage somewhat tighter than was necessary. "Kid's pretty good." he said brusquely.

"You don't say…" Sara muttered sarcastically. "You haven't been this pushed by an Abbey student since Lea-"

"Yes, I know." Kai cut her off mid-word, fighting to keep his face impassive. Sara looked up and her face softened. Obviously it hadn't worked…

"You miss her, don't you?" Kai nodded stiffly. Katy was watching and listening intently. "Kai, you know that living any longer would have been crueller to her than letting her die, don't you? She was incredibly sick-"

"Shut up." Kai said in a low voice, pulling his arm out of Sara's grip.

"All I'm saying, Kai, is that she's probably happier now than she was-"

"I said shut up."

"Yes, I did hear you the first time. You can't wallow like this, it's not good for you-"

"I SAID SHUTTHE HELLUP!" Kai bellowed. With a strength born of overwhelming anger and sorrow, his hand flew out and smacked into Sara's face, sending her tumbling to the floor. Katy let out a shocked cry, but was silenced by a sharp look from Sara. The incensed eighteen year-old was on her feet again in seconds, her right cheek swollen and blazing scarlet.

"Don't you dare hit me, Kai Hitwarti!" she hissed furiously. Her mind was working frantically, putting bits and pieces together from looks they had shot at each other, little touches of hands… No, the girl was eleven, the idea was disgusting, abhorrent…She drew herself up straight and looked up at Kai, seeing the raw grief barely concealed in his eyes. "Look at me, Kai, look right at me and swear to me you weren't involved with Leanne." Kai snorted with bitter laughter.

"I wasn't involved with Leanne." he said flatly. Sara blinked, taken aback. "She was my sister."

* * *

Yay! Another chapter up! I had a massivepanicwhile I was downloading it, because the stupid computer wasn't accepting any of the files on my memory stick (ie, ALL my stories!) Thank god it worked the fourth time! Oh yes,I need your opinions here, people.

One question. Is my pen name stupid?

Review please! Reviews make me happy, and make me update!


	4. Chapter 4

Right, there seems to have been a bit of confusion about the last chapter, so I'm just going to rewrite a bit down here, so that it's all nicely cleared up.

_"I wasn't involved with Leanne." Kai said flatly. Sara looked taken aback. "She was my sister." **he added, so quietly that she had to strain to hear him**._

Is that clear now? Leanne was KAI'S sister, not Sara's as some people seem to think!I apologise for confusing people. Also, I've had severalcomments about my use of British grammer instead of American. To that,I say that I am British and proud of it, and the way that I see it is, in the anime they don't swear and I've made them swear, so basically I've re-written the way that they talk anyhow!

Anyway (takes deep breath and calms down from raging at random people) sorry if the above paragraph seemed a little rude, I'm in a bad mood. This chapter contains serious lemon, so if you don't like it, don't read it, and if you don't like it and read it anyway, then don't flame me! Please read and enjoy!

* * *

Sara shook her head, her mouth unconsciously opening slightly in shock.

"Okay, now you've lost me. Both your parents were killed at your birth, Kai! How could she be in any way related?" Kai snorted again.

"You really think Voltaire would've left anything to chance? He froze some of my father's sperm and three of my mother's eggs, just in case I didn't turn out right. So, after I released Black Dranzer, aged nine and nearly destroyed the Abbey and myself, he started creating a back-up plan. Leanne. I was the only one with the ability to wield Black Dranzer, that couldn't be duplicated, but she had all my other abilities, just a changed appearance. Voltaire couldn't engineer her personality, though…" He trailed off, a wistful look in his eyes. Sara knew what he meant. Leanne had had the bubbliest personality of any Abbey student. After she had been convinced that no one from Biovolt could get to her again (and that had taken a long time), she had opened up like a flower, hadn't stopped grinning from morning until night. Kai had spent a lot of time with her, (and now she knew why!) training her, taking her out to places with the other ex-Abbey students, teaching them all that life could be a good thing.

Even to her, Leanne would always stand out. She couldn't imagine how Kai was feeling, knowing that he had recently gained a sibling whom he had loved instantly, then having her pulled away from him by one of the men that he hated more than any other…

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. Kai's lips twitched into something vaguely resembling a smile.

"Yeah. Me too." he replied softly.

"Have you told Hilary?"

"No."

"Kai!" Sara remonstrated. "Whether you like it or not, mister, she cares about you. And you care about her. Tell her yourself or I will." Kai stayed silent.

"I knew Leanne." Katy said abruptly. "When I was first taken to the A-A-A- that place, she went out of her way to help me. She was only eight then, wasn't she? So small to be in there…" Kai nodded. "She's dead?"

"Very." Kai said tonelessly.

"Oh…" Katy dropped her head, her face carefully still. Sara moved to her and embraced her firmly. They all understood that it wasn't really grief that was making Katy act like this, it was shock. One of the first lessons you learnt in the Abbey was that if you followed your instructions, nothing and no one would ever get the better of you. Even death. It was always a shock when they found out that nobody could escape that particular occurrence. "How?" she whispered. Kai sat down on the sofa and clamped his hands firmly over his ears. He knew, but he wished that he didn't.

"She had AIDS." Sara said softly. _AIDS._ The word rang in Kai's ears, his hands not sufficient to block out the sound. The second biggest killer of all Abbey and ex-Abbey students beside suicide. And they had one man to thank for it…

"Did Boris ever rape you?" he asked bluntly. Katy flinched.

"Y-Yes…" she murmured.

"Get her tested." Kai jerked his head towards Katy and stood up. He felt strangely hollow inside. "You're a pretty decent blader, Katy." he said, almost offhandedly. Without a word, Sara pulled the two of them into a tight three-way embrace. Out of the three of them, the eighteen year-old was the only one who had softened enough to let a single tear slip down her cheek.

Hilary hummed quietly to herself as the hot water poured over her body, the silky droplets waking her up at last. She looked around for her shampoo and saw it on the side of the bath. Picking it up, she continued singing softly as she massaged the sweet-smelling orange goo into her hair, mentally debating whether to bother straightening it when she got out. Deciding against it, she held her breath and stuck her head fully under the shower. Coming out, she ran her fingers through her wet, tangled hair, checking for leftover shampoo. Finding none, she ducked back under and started rubbing shower gel all over herself. It was the first chance to be clean that she had had in almost a week, and she was not going to waste it! Finished, she stood up unsteadily, putting as little weight on her painful ankle as possible. Carefully, she climbed out of the bath and pulled a towel round herself. Her ankle reminding her that it didn't want to be stood on at the moment, she sat down on the toilet seat with a bump. She looked down absentmindedly and blushed a thousand different shades of red when she realised that she was wrapped in one of Kai's dark blue towels. Oh well. His fault for leaving it out. Not her fault for putting on at all… Giggling quietly, she leaned back and closed her eyes, imagining Kai's arms round her, his head resting on hers. She stopped herself quickly when she got to the point of removing the towel from her fantasies. _Not a good thing, Hilary!_ she chided herself. _Well, a very good thing actually, just bad for the idea of a platonic relationship, that's all…_ Suddenly, she heard a door slam and the sound of running footsteps.

"Kai?" she called, worried at the urgency of the footsteps, as if the owner was desperate to reach a safe place. "Kai, is that you?" No answer. Her mind made up, she took hold of the crutches from where they were leaning against the wall and hurried out, holding the towel up by pressing her arms tightly to her body.

Kai looked up at her, his face an expressionless mask. "Are you okay?" He shook his head, his face still scarily blank. "What's wrong?" she pleaded.

Kai fingered Dranzer uncertainly. He didn't know what to do anymore. He was more than slightly tipsy, having stopped off at four bars on the way back, but for all his efforts at oblivion, the picture of Leanne dying practically in his arms would not get out of his head. Maybe telling Hilary would help a little…

Five minutes later, he stopped talking and stared at her, willing her to say something, anything, that would thaw the ice inside him.

"Oh, Kai…" He felt her slim arms slip round him and push him down into a sitting position, embracing him. "I am so, so sorry…" He let his head loll forwards and rest on her shoulder, feeling a tiny silver fall away from the glacier that surrounded his heart.

Hilary held Kai gently, murmuring tenderly to him, all fantasies ignored. She had seen enough of people to know when someone was close to the edge, and Kai was hanging on by his fingertips. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, Tyson popped into her head, smiling cheerfully as he always did. _Get out, Tyson._ she hissed mentally. _You made your choice. Oh yes, you definitely did that…_ Equally inexplicably, a sudden sob shuddered through her. Kai shifted, and she felt a hand running comfortingly up and down her arm. She melted. Even now, Kai was still trying to comfort her. She reached up and touched his cheek gently. Her body was still shuddering, whether from the sudden cold or something else, she didn't know.

"We all make our choices, Kai."

"But what about when they're wrong?" Kai's warm breath brushed her cheek. She looked up and met his beautiful amethyst eyes, now liquid pools of remorse and grief.

"Then we live with them, because there's nothing more we can do." Hilary whispered. Their lips met softly, then harder, fiercer, fighting for dominance. The kiss wasn't a move of passion or desire; it was a desperate attempt by two people to find something stable that they could hold onto as their world crumbled around them. Two sets of salty tears mixed with the embrace.

"Hils?" Hilary opened her eyes and looked down, feeling a tickle just above her breasts. Kai's hand was resting there, running lightly over the sensitive skin, brushing against the concealing towel. "Can I?" Kai's lips moved against hers, his voice slurred. She nodded and felt the towel slide away.

"You're drunk," she murmured as a belated, half-hearted attempt at stopping.

"Never stopped me before."

Kai slid his hand down Hilary's bare chest. He took one breast in his hand and stroked it firmly, pressing the pink nipple with his thumb. Hilary groaned in pleasure and rubbed herself against him, rather like a cat. His other hand slid from amid her hair and started on the other breast. "You okay with this?" he asked softly. In reply, Hilary opened her mouth, inviting him in. Obligingly, he slid his tongue inside, tasting her sweetness. Leaving her breasts for the minute, he stroked her shoulders, all the way down to her fingertips and back up to cup her face and press her closer. She was so delicate, so…vulnerable. Vulnerable. Now that was a word he hadn't expected to ever associate Hilary with. She had always been the feisty one, the girl who told people what to do and watched in satisfaction as they obeyed. Now, the positions were reversed. She was the one waiting for instructions, her pale slender body pressing into his, groaning with pleasure as he returned to his ministrations on her breasts.

"Don't you think something's a bit unfair about this?" she whispered breathlessly. "I'm naked and you're still fully clothed? Hello, something's not right here-"

"Shut up." Kai growled, taking her mouth in a possessive kiss.

Kai's firm mouth moved insistently over hers. Coaxing, luring, tempting, guaranteeing an hour or two of bliss. And God knew she wanted him…

"Kiss me," he ordered huskily. Hesitantly, she obeyed his command, pressing against him, relaxing her lips beneath his. Her fingers clenched on his back, taking hold of his crumpled shirt. He slid his arms around her, holding her safely, his tongue demanding entrance.

With a slow, tantalising movement, Kai eased his tongue into her mouth, probing deeply, possessively. She answered him tentatively, poking her tip of her tongue against his lower lip, probing nervously into his eagerly waiting mouth. He had wanted her, had wanted her from the very first time he had laid eyes on her, his little spitfire with her alluring mix of fire and fragility. He wanted her in a way he had never wanted a girl before, possessively, obsessively, raw need flooding him. Without breaking the kiss, he shrugged off his shirt and tossed it carelessly aside, then guided her hands down to his waist. He gasped a little at the feel of her hands, still damp from the shower, gliding back up his chest.

Hilary ran her hands over his fever-hot, muscular chest, in awe of the way that her body was responding to his overwhelming sexuality. She couldn't get enough of him, wanted to press against him until she melted with the passion-induced heat he was radiating. Her clumsy, fumbling forays with Tyson couldn't hold a candle to this. She moved into him, what was left of her breath panting out of her as her bare breasts met his solid chest.

Kai growled low in his throat as he kissed her fiercely. Like a sculptor admiring a magnificent work of art, his hands traced her back delicately, feeling every bone, every piece of smooth, pale flesh. Lifting her into him, her pushed her hips against his, letting her feel his arousal, letting her know how badly he wanted her, needed her. Her tongue touched the hollow at the base of his neck, licked it gently, teasingly, and the flames of desire licked hungrily at what little remained of his drunken sanity. He opened his eyes slowly, drinking in the exquisite picture before him.

She was slender and waiflike, her lips swollen with his kisses. He traced his hands wonderingly down her body, brushing lightly against her small, firm breasts with his finger tips, gliding over her slim waist, down to rest on her hips. He looked at her, surprised at the faint blush that was staining her cheeks pink, her eyes wary, as if she was afraid he would somehow find her unsatisfactory, tainted.

"Come here, Hils," he whispered, stretching out a hand. "Before I burst at the sight of your sheer beauty." The blush intensified, her cheeks crimson. He pulled her tight against him, kissing her hungrily, needing her to know that his words weren't the just meaningless prattle of an experienced lover; they were the truest words he had spoken since he had left the team.

Slowly, he lowered her to the floor, following her down, lying over her. She arched her back up, emitting a faint cry of delight as he engulfed her breast with his mouth, capturing the quivering nipple in-between his teeth and nipping teasingly.

Hilary reached up and tangled her hands in his hair. Soft, wild sounds of yearning keened in her throat as she moved restlessly beneath him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips against his, her need overwhelming, aching.

He stroked her most secret flesh seductively, opening her up to his probing touch like a fragile flower. She gasped with pleasure as he eased two fingers into her.

"You're okay with this?" he whispered huskily, stroking deep before easing slowly out of her, opening her, stretching her, readying her.

"Yes - no - " she gasped, lifting her hips eagerly.

"Let yourself, go, Hils," he coaxed. "Let me show you what it feels like." He kissed her trembling stomach, mouth open. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. Kai, please…" She snatched a breath and strained against the ball of desire that tightened and tightened inside her. She'd never wanted like this, never dreamed it was possible to want another person to this extent. When Kai sat up, fumbling with the button on his jeans, need making him clumsy, she reached up to help him. Sitting up, she pressed heated, eager kisses to his chest, damp and glistening with the sweat of desire. Nervously, hesitantly, she closed her fingers around him.

Kai's flimsy control broke at the feel of her small hand stroking him. He pushed her back onto the floor and pushed her hand aside. Closing his eyes, he guided himself, easing slowly into her.

"Hell, you're tight!" he muttered, stroking her face to show her that she shouldn't take it personally. Hilary moaned as she felt him inside her.

"You're bigger than Tyson, and I haven't done this for about three months!" she explained breathlessly. Kai bent down and kissed her softly.

"Hey, it's our first time," he teased. "Just relax and enjoy it."

Hilary closed her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around him as he began to move within her, every nerve end on fire. He kissed her deeply, then playfully, nipping her neck and murmuring meaningless sexy words as he guided her until they moved together. The pleasure built, swelling inside the very core of her until she could barely breath for the sheer pressure of it.

Kai's kisses grew more urgent, his thrusts deeper, driving, filling her to bursting. The time for teasing faded in the face of something intense that enveloped and threatened to consume them. Hilary like fear gripped Hilary and she tightened her hold on him. One of his hands caressed his cheek soothingly.

"Don't be scared, Hils," he whispered. He swept her hair back from her face, kissed her temple lovingly. "Don't be scared. Let it happen." Not giving her a choice, he slipped a hand between them and touched the tender centre of her desire, thrusting in one last time. White light flashed in both their vision, taking them both over the edge.

"Holy shit, Hilary." he breathed wonderingly, rolling away to lie on his back. Even in the rapidly fading daylight he could see her turn her face away from him. He reached over and gently laid a hand on her smooth cheek. "Don't be embarrassed. That was…amazing."

"I'm not very good at this," she mumbled, refusing to look at him, despite the gentle pressure he was applying to try and turn her head. Kai moved to her, cupping her face in his hands and staring down at her.

"Not good at what?" he asked softly. "Sex?" Hilary nodded, ashamed. "Oh God, Hilary, that was the best…the best experience I've ever had."

"Same here." she murmured, turning to face him at last. He scanned her face worriedly.

"What's wrong? Was I too fast?" he asked in a low voice, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"No!" Hilary said vehemently. "God no, it was absolutely fantastic!"

"Then what?" He sat up and pulled her to him, cradled her against his chest. "Look at me, Hilary." he commanded. Slowly, she obeyed.

Kai looked down into her face and read vulnerability in her wide eyes. So fiery, so sure of herself normally, she was uncertain about the most basic aspect of her femininity. She was so different from the numerous girlfriends and casual flings he'd had over the past three years, yet so much more desirable… This wasn't the time for reminiscing, he chided himself, this was the time to reassure.

"What, was Tyson struck dumb after you two did it? Because if he had any remaining brain in that thick skull, he'd tell you how you made him feel."

_No,_ Hilary thought, _he was just awkward, as I was when neither of us seemed to climax, when all that effort had come to nothing of any worth. _Tyson was sweet and loving and honest, and he'd tried his best to make their relationship work, but she'd failed him in so many ways. What she felt for him was a deep, abiding friendship and a sense of emotional security, nowhere near the kind of fierce love and passion she felt for Kai. She had used him to anchor her life, because everyone expected that they would get together, and had given him very little in return that she wouldn't give him if they were just friends. In short, she had used him because she could trust him. Or thought she could…

"Hey, Hils…" Kai murmured softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"At the moment, bad memories seem to be all I've got." She looked away from him and tried to push the tears back inside.

"We've both got some pretty bad memories," he said quietly. "But let's put them to one side for a bit, yeah?" He leaned in and kissed her gently. "We were doing pretty well just then, weren't we?"

"Uh-huh," she whispered, her face lighting up with a pleased, slightly embarrassed smile.

"That's it," Kai murmured, his voice warm, seductive. He moved on top of her again, lowering his head until they were nose to nose. "Smile." He smiled with her. "Kiss me." he whispered, groaning with pleasure as she complied.

Hilary's breath caught as he shifted slightly and eased into her again. Need uncoiled inside her again, banishing the memories. She kissed him feverishly, closing her eyes in bliss as he held her close. Right now, nothing else mattered. Nothing but Kai and her…

Yawning sleepily, Hilary opened her eyes, wondering what had woken her. A split second later, she knew, as Kai's tossing, restless body nearly rolled over her. Struggling free, she scrambled to her knees and looked in panic at Kai. He was in the midst of a nightmare, rolling from side to side, his face damp with sweat, mouth moving soundlessly. She shook his shoulder, hard.

"Kai! Kai, wake up!" she cried. His struggles ceased for a few seconds before starting again. He was clearly in too deep a sleep to be roused that easily. She sat back and pondered how to wake him up. A hoarse, terrified scream galvanised her into action. For want of anything else, she yelled her earlier plea directly into his ear, punching him as hard as she could on the shoulder. The agitated tossing and turning stopped again. Slowly, as if they weighed a ton, his eyelids flickered open.

"H-Hi-" He swallowed and tried to speak, his voice weak and almost inaudible as he fought to stay awake.

"Ssh, Kai, it's okay." Hilary soothed. She ran a hand lightly over his messy hair, smiling tenderly at him. His mouth worked furiously as he tried to speak again.

"H-Hold me, Hils…" he mumbled at last, his amethyst eyes dark with helplessness.

"Oh, Kai…" she murmured, flooded with pity. She lay down beside him and cuddled up to him, holding him reassuringly. His arms crept gingerly round her, then held on as if she was the last solid thing in his world. She could feel his chest rising and falling as he panted, gulping in the air that the nightmare had denied him. He was shaking like a leaf, his whole body trembling. "What was it? A nightmare?" He nodded. "It's okay, Kai, it's gone now, isn't it?" she soothed, feeling him rest his head on hers and tighten his grip.

"Yeah…it's gone…" His voice was a barely perceptible murmur.

"It's gone," she repeated steadily, trying to help him calm down. He nodded again and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. Suddenly, a creak sounded from the hallway. Hilary ignored it, and was surprised when Kai started to try and push himself upright, his muscles shaking with the effort. "Kai, what's-" She was cut off abruptly as Kai slammed a hand over her mouth, a warning look in his eyes as he kicked the door shut. He managed to sit up at last, closing his eyes in dizziness.

"Hilary?" His voice was hoarse and rasping.

"Yes?" she replied uncertainly, sitting up.

"In the…the drawer." He swallowed, forcing down a wave of nausea. Hilary got up and went over to the chest of drawers. She opened the top drawer and stared in horror at the sleek, shining gun nestled amid a pile of socks.

"T-This?" she stammered, gingerly picking it up and holding it out.

"That." Kai confirmed, careful to keep his voice low. He held out his hand. Hilary, eyes wide with fear, walked over and handed him the gun.

"What's going on?" she whispered, her voice quivering. Kai flashed her a grim smile as he struggled to stand.

"Nothing…" He slid back down again, swearing softly. "Nothing in this flat creaks. There's somebody in here who shouldn't be." Explanation finished, he tried to stand again, cursing his weakness. That particular dream always affected him like this.

"Here, you idiot…" Hilary hissed. She pulled his arm over her shoulder and stood, pulling him partly with her. Managing to get his feet under him, he looked around for his clothes. Hilary handed them to him, only her shaking hands revealing the fear that still flooded her.

"Kai, you're in no state to-"

"I know, Hils, I know, but some things just have to be taken care of…" Leaning heavily against the wall, he pulled his trousers on, only just staying upright. Disregarding his top, he slipped a hand into his pocket and touched Dranzer gently, reassured. The launcher was in his other pocket, and with the gun in his hand, he was ready to go. He pushed himself away from the wall, some of his strength coming back with the adrenaline. Hilary's frightened face looked up at him. Lifting a hand and pressing it to her cheek, he kissed her softly. "You stay in here. I'll be back before you know it, okay?" She nodded bravely. Kissing her again, a tight ball of love for the courageous girl rising in his chest, he walked out, flipping the safety catch off the gun.

Silently, he walked down the corridor, every sense on a knife's edge. Quickly, he slipped into his office and checked the computer, knowing that it would be the first target of any burglar. Reassured, he stepped out and carefully began to make his way round all the other rooms.

Hilary sat down on Kai's bed, shivering slightly. She crawled under the covers and curled up in a ball to try and keep warm, not daring to go her own room where her clothes were. Suddenly, the creak came again, right outside the door. She froze, the blood running cold in her veins. Like a child who thinks that if he can't see you, you can't see him, she burrowed under the covers and lay there, quaking with fear. The creaks came closer, in the room now, and coming towards the bed. Hilary let out a faint whimper, her whole body trembling. Slowly, the covers were drawn back.

Hilary gazed up at the man standing next to the bed, paralysed with fright. He swept a thick lock of black hair out of his eyes, touching the long, gruesome scar on his cheek, and sat down next to her. Reptilian eyes glittered as he stared at her. With a faint chuckle, he reached out and laid a hand on her bare stomach, tracing circles with the tips of his fingers. Hilary opened her mouth to scream, then choked for breath as the man slammed his other hand over her mouth.

"Ssh, girlie. We have ourselves some fun while Kai's gone, yes?" he whispered in heavily accented English. She thrashed around, trying to get free. With a grunt, he swung a powerfully muscled leg up across her hips, trapping her. She tore helplessly at the thick brown leather of his trousers, nearly vomiting as he bent over and began to trail kisses down her bare stomach. The hand that wasn't clamping her mouth shut ran roughly across her cheek and down again to rest on her breast. Terrified beyond movement, Hilary gave up. She stopped her weak struggles and lay still, mentally begging with all her heart for Kai to save her.

Kai came out of the kitchen and frowned. He had checked every single room in the flat except… For a second, his entire body froze as the horrifying answer blazed through his head.

_He's in my bedroom. With Hilary._

Without wasting any more time on shock, he jolted himself out of his daze and raced noiselessly to his bedroom.

The hand pressing down on her tightly closed lips was removed. Gratefully, she gulped down a few breaths of wonderful, cool, fresh air, then gagged as he pressed his thick, cracked lips to hers. He fondled her breasts, pressing painfully, his rapidly swelling erection pressing against her hip. His hands left her breasts for a moment, but returned a few moments later with even more vigour. He shifted his position until he was straddling her. Hilary gagged against the slimy touch of his lips, gagged again, a pitiful whimper escaping her throat as she felt his bloated manhood rest just below her stomach.

Kai stepped through the door. White hot anger blazed through him, consuming every scrap of restraint in him. That…that…son of a bitch was straddling Hilary, his lips pressed firmly to hers, his thick fingers running up and down her slender curves, his exposed penis hovering dangerously close. Silently, he walked up to the man and, raising the pistol, brought it down sharply across his skull with a dull thud. The gun was knocked out of his hands by the impact, the man slumping senseless on top of Hilary. Fumbling with haste, Kai hauled the unconscious man off Hilary and tossed him to the floor, delivering a hard kick to his face. There was a loud crunch and his foot came off coated in a satisfactory amount of blood. He knelt down beside Hilary and cupped her cheek gently, brushing his fingers lightly over her tightly closed eyelids.

"Hil? It's okay, everything's going to be fine. I'm here now." Whimpering like a frightened child, Hilary held out her arms, tears pouring down her ashen cheeks. Kai reached out to her and enfolded her in a gentle embrace, murmuring soothingly to her. Suddenly, Hilary let out a shriek;

"Kai! Behind you!" Kai spun instantly, raising one arm in a feeble shield. Blinding, nauseating pain shot through his left arm as the barrel of the gun connectedly solidly. With an animalistic roar, he flung himself at his assailant. Disregarding his useless arm, he punched and kicked the muscled form in front of him viciously, moving with the ease of years of practice. The man was stumbling, blood trickling from the head wound that Kai had dealt him earlier. Seeing this, Kai delivered a ferocious blow to the source of the bleeding. The man let out a howl of agony and crumpled to the floor, unconscious, if not dead. Wasting no time on suppositions, Kai felt around under his bed until he found what he wanted. Uncoiling the thick, coarse rope, he bound the man from head to toe and kicked him scornfully out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Adrenaline gone, he fell to his knees and vomited, an instinctive reaction to the pain in his arm. Suddenly, Hilary's slim arms were around him, holding him tightly, the shudders passing through her frame juddering through both of them. He reached up and rested a shaking hand on her shoulder.

"You okay, Hils?" he asked hoarsely. She nodded, her soft, still damp hair brushing against his back. "How far did he go?" Hilary caught her breath. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Hilary shook her head stubbornly.

"No, it's fine. He didn't…go all the way in."

"You sure?"

"Positive." Suddenly, Hilary gasped, then sighed in relief.

"Phew. Thank God." she murmured.

"What?" Kai asked curiously.

"I just realised that you didn't use a condom." Kai's eyes widened.

"Shit!" he exclaimed loudly. Hilary laughed.

"No, it's okay, don't get yourself in such a stress. I'm on the Pill." Kai made an exaggerated show of wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. Hilary slapped him playfully on his left arm. Kai swore loudly in pain, his vision blurring for a split second as pain sliced through him. "Oh my God, sorry Kai, I am so sorry, are you all right?"

"Yes…fine…" Black spots were dancing in front of his eyes, his bones felt as though they had been turned to jelly. He turned and wrapped her in a tight one-armed hug, comforting her, doing what he did best.

Blanking out emotion.

* * *

That is officially the end of my ideas for this fic! Plot ideas needed desperately! Once again,I apologise for my rant at the beginning of this chapter, but asI said, I'm not in the best of moods. Please review! And tell me any ideas you have about this, no matter how insignificant you think they are! Thank you,I love you all (not in _that_ way! laughs) As usual, all opinions appreciated. _Au revoir, mes amis!_


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, this is a horrendously short chapter, it's more like a little filler while I figure out where it's going. Enjoy!

* * *

Hilary watched as Kai talked in Russian to the policeman, with many loud exclamations and expressive hand gestures. Finally, he turned away, leaving the policeman to scribble down notes and handcuff the would-be rapist, who didn't look all that healthy. The grim expression on his face was smoothed out as he neared her, although not without visible effort. 

"What's happening?" she asked nervously. He wrapped his good arm around her and pulled her close, pressing an affectionate kiss to her temple.

"They're arresting the bastard and charging him with attempted rape and breaking in." he told her shortly. Narrowing her eyes, Hilary looked up at him critically.

"You should go and get your arm checked out, you know." She frowned when he didn't respond. "Come on, Kai. There's a difference between being stubborn and being utterly stupid, and you're getting into the second category!"

"Fine. Whatever." She scowled at him, almost glad in a way to have somebody to take her frustration and fear out on.

"You listen to me, mister," she began, poking him hard in the chest with her index finger. "You drop the hard act right now, do you hear me? You're only human, for heaven's sake! Act like it for once!" She stamped her foot, then changed her mind and kicked him in the ankle.

"That hurt. You satisfied now?" His eyes were dark, sunken into his white face.

"No!" she yelled. "You look like shit, Hiwatari! Stop acting like it, and grow up!" With a soft groan, Kai nodded.

"Fine. Just stop nagging me." he muttered tiredly.

"I'll nag you all I want, you - " She was cut off mid-sentence by a light, tender kiss. Kai drew away, his eyes soft and weary.

"Please, Hils. I'm tired, okay? It's been one heck of a shit day." he murmured. She quietened instantly. "I'll go and get it checked out, but I'm positive it won't be anything to worry about."

* * *

"It's nothing to worry about," the radiographer assured the two of them in flawless English. Kai shot a triumphant glance at Hilary, who pouted and punched him lightly on his right shoulder. "You've bruised it very badly and chipped thebone slightly, but it's nothing that won't heal, given time. You should go down to the pharmacy and they'll give you some painkillers- " Kai interrupted her with a quick burst of Russian. She paused, clearly taken aback. "You'll have to tell them that there. I know they've got something." Kai nodded in acceptance and walked out. Hilary followed, bemused at the exchange, and annoyed at all the curious glances people were sending her. They'd seen a girl on crutches before, hadn't they? 

At the drugs counter, Kai spoke extensively in Russian, after which, the man behind the counter, his face carefully blank, nodded and handed him three packets of pills.

Once they were outside, she stepped in front of him and glared determinedly.

"Okay, what was all that about in there?" she demanded. Kai sighed.

"Ex-Abbey students can't take normal painkillers. Something to do with addiction." he said flippantly. Hilary pulled a confused face. "Did you have your eyes closed while we were making love?" She blushed furiously and, for once, didn't make a pert retort. "I rest my case. Basically, we used to overdose on painkillers all the time."

"You're missing loads out again, aren't you?" she demanded.

"Yes." he admitted shamelessly. He gave her a look that made her insides melt. "Do you know why everyone was staring at you in there?"

"No, tell me!" He smirked evilly, looking her up and down brazenly.

"You're wearing your nightdress. And while it's exceedingly attractive, it's not what most sane people would consider normal."

Her horrified shriek could be heard at least three streets away. Kai's hoarse laughter momentarily banished the exhaustion from his pallid face.

"What the fuck! How _dare _you let me go out like this, you…you…I can't even _think_ of a word to describe you right now!"

* * *

The second they stepped through the door, a pair of blazing green eyes and a furious tirade confronted them. 

"What _happened_? I get a phone call from the fucking _police_ to say that there's been a break-in and you nearly _raped_ - " Sara pointed a quivering finger at Hilary. " - then I run over here and _neither_ of you are here, no note, no _nothing_? Are you _completely_ selfish?"

"Tired." Kai managed briefly. He stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed face down on his bed, asleep in milliseconds. The two girls looked at him, then at each other, then continued the conversation at a more civilised level.

"Well?" Sara demanded. Quickly Hilary outlined the basics of what had happened, laying extreme emphasis on the fact that Kai had let her walk out of the house in what amounted to nothing more than a thin, flimsy piece of silk!

"The bastard! He probably got off on it!" was Sara's indignant response. After a few more outraged screeches from both girls, Sara calmed down. Placing one hand lightly on Hilary's shoulder, she stared at the other girl. "Seriously. Jokes and idiotic male behaviour aside, are you okay?" she asked softly. Hilary nodded, then seemed to sag.

"Not…really…" she whispered. Sara moved forwards and wrapped her arms around her, holding her reassuringly as she began to cry. "I feel so…dirty, Sara…"

"There, there, Hilary, it's gonna be all right…ssh now…" Gradually, Hilary pulled herself together.

"Thanks, Sara," she mumbled, giving her newfound friend a wan smile. "And it's Hil. Or Hils, if you're Kai and go out of your way to stick out from the rest of us like a sore thumb."

"Cool. I just thought - "

"Oh, that. Don't worry, I was just…going through a bad patch."

"You mean this doesn't count as a bad patch?" Sara asked wryly. Hilary smiled feebly.

"Emotionally, not a chance. Physically, I feel like hell." she admitted softly. A slow grin spread across her face. "It was worth it, though." With no small amount of relish, she began to retell what had happened between her and Kai. Some bits had to be kept private, of course. She wasn't a blabbermouth.

* * *

Three days later, with Hilary now off the crutches and only limping slightly, the three of them gathered in a café to talk. Suddenly, Hilary's head jerked up, staring at the TV screen in surprise. Kai and Sara copied her. 

"Look!" Hilary whispered, a grin spreading across her face. "It's Ray and Mariah!" Sure enough, the two Chinese ex-bladers were gyrating around on screen, lips almost kissing the microphones as they sang their latest hit.

"I though they went into modelling?" Kai asked absentmindedly, staring at the only male Bladebreaker he'd ever considered a real friend.

"They did." Hilary confirmed. "But Mariah started getting iffy about diets and all that shit, so Ray got her out quick. Good job he did, too. They weren't enjoying it all. I've never seen either of them so depressed." They watched as if spellbound as their old friends sang their hearts out.

"I never knew Ray was such a good singer." Kai commented. "And Mariah's not bad, either."

"Yeah, we didn't have a clue either. I think Tyson's phone call to Ray after their first performance went something like; "What the fuck? What happened to the Ray we knew?" She laughed sadly, the thought of Tyson giving her a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. _What happened to the Tyson I knew, huh? _she thought forlornly.

"So they're together, then?" Sara inquired, seeing Hilary's sudden depression and wanting to shake her out of it. Hilary nodded distractedly, playing idly with the corner of the tablecloth.

"Very much so. They still go out and scope out the girls, though." she mumbled, not paying attention to her own words. _I know what happened to him. He found somebody else… his best friend…one of mine…God, is this ever going to stop hurting?_

"So, Mariah's bisexual then?" She nodded. "Lucky bitch." Blinking rapidly, she looked over at Sara and waited for an explanation. Sara snorted in utmost disgust. "Bi's get it so fucking easy!" she complained. "None of the harassment as long as they keep their other side hidden, none of the soul-searching: "Oh my god, I'm a freak!" kind of shit…lucky sods…"

"You're gay?" Hilary asked tentatively, after a long pause. Sara looked surprised.

"Yeah. You mean Kai hasn't told you?" she demanded, glaring at said male. Kai glared right back, and won with ease.

"For a reason!" he retorted sharply.

"What reason?" Sara challenged.

"That's for Hilary to tell you."

"Hilary?" Sara asked quietly. Hilary looked up. Tears brimming in her eyes, she shifted her chair closer to Kai and hugged him tightly, shaking with the effort of not crying.

"M-My boyfriend left me for…his best friend." she stammered out and dissolved into a flood of tears. Kai's arms closed around her and held her comfortingly.

Ten minutes later, the whole sorry story had been sobbed out. Sara looked thoughtful.

"Have you talked to him since?" she asked. Hilary shook her head.

"I just couldn't face it…I tried to phone him once, but Max was there, and I just…bottled out…"

"You should talk to him. Failing that, at least let your parents know how you are. God only knows what's going through their heads at the moment."

"Yeah, yeah, all right." Hilary mumbled, drying her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'll phone them. God, I think I've cried more in the past few days than the rest of my life…"

* * *

"Mum? It's Hilary." 

"Hilary, darling, where have you _been_? We've been so _worried_! Your…friends," Hilary scowled, knowing her mother's opinion on the Bladebreakers. "have been calling all the time! Where are you? Who are you with?"

"In order, I've been trying to sort my head out, I'm in Russia, and I'm with Kai." A long silence on her mother's end of the line.

"Kai?" came the disapproving response. Hilary gritted her teeth.

"Yes, mum, Kai. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, no, not at all." her mother said airily. "So, when will you be coming home, then?" Hilary gaped at the phone, outraged. It was a fair enough question, but the tone in which it had been uttered! Careless, breezy, as if Hilary had only been away for a few hours…

"Excuse me, mum, I'll ring you back in a second." she said politely, and hung up.

Kai walked in to the sound of loud, furious swearing and Hilary kicking a cushion round the room, her face dark with rage. He went up to her and lifted her easily off her feet, putting her down on the sofa and raising one eyebrow questioningly.

"I - hate - my - mum!" Hilary growled, struggling against his iron grip. He leaned forwards and silenced her with a kiss, pulling her towards him. She immediately relaxed into the embrace, returning his kiss eagerly. His mouth began to wander, nipping and licking her pale skin teasingly. She moaned softly and undid his shirt buttons, exposing a powerful, muscular chest. With a knowing smirk, he took both her wrists in one hand and left them to explore where they wished. Glazed mahogany eyes looked up at him, soft, full lips slightly parted. "Kai…" she breathed.

"You need to ring your…mother…back." he said disdainfully, buttoning up his shirt again. "Despite her somewhat low opinions of 'your boys'," He grinned roguishly at her. "You do have to obey her. At least…pretend to." he suggested. "And then afterwards…" He gave her an indescribably lustful look and trailed a finger lightly over her lips. "Afterwards, you can have a reward for being such a good girl."

"Oh, I can't wait…" Hilary murmured, her eyes gleaming, shivers running down her spine at the predatory look in Kai's eyes.

"Neither can I." Kai whispered huskily, a slight smile on his face. "Tell me when you're done."

* * *

They lay on the sofa, comfortably naked in each other's arms. Hilary wriggled drowsily and shifted her position. Kai moved to accommodate her, keeping his hold around her waist. Halfway through their love-making, she had suffered a panic attack, and it had taken all of his skills as a seducer to bring her mind back to the important business. 

"You okay now?" he asked softly, kissing the top of her head. She nodded sleepily and yawned. A few seconds later, she had drifted into a peaceful sleep. He smiled as he looked down at her. Sleeping, the only word that came to mind was: cute. Adorable. Perhaps sweet, but that might be pushing it a little. So different from her usual, forceful, fiery personality. A bubble of love rose inside his chest and he held her even tighter, careful not to hurt her.

His little spitfire. He looked around for Dranzer, then found it, holding the beyblade, with its precious cargo, in his hand. His two loves were here with him…what could go wrong? He chuckled wryly. He knew from painful experience just how many things could go wrong with a seemingly perfect situation. Ah well. He was going to have to make the best of it, then.

* * *

There we go, all opinions welcome, all ideas still very much needed! Review, please! 


	6. Chapter 6

Yes! The next chapter is FINALLY up! I've had writer's block for a long, _lo-ong_ time on this! Thank you all SO much for sticking with me! There's more lemon in this chapter, I think it's worse than the other one, 'cause I tried a different style, could you all let me know, please? Without flaming? Thanks.

If anyone's checked my profile, they'll notice that I'm banned (stupid dad!) from swearing in my stories on a threat of losing my account. So that's why there's no swearing in this, in case anybody starts wondering!

This is one of my shorter chapters, I'm sooo sorry it took so long to put up and all you get is a tiddly 3000-odd word one! I've got out of the habit of writing loads! Anyway, please forgive me, and I hope you enjoy reading this!

* * *

Hilary blinked in bewilderment as Sara burst through the door, her face alight with excitement. 

"Come on, Hil! We're going shopping!" Hilary let out a short whoop of delight, jumping up and clapping her hands together sharply.

"God, what is it with girls and spending money?" Kai grumbled from the lounge.

"Boys are just stingy muscle-heads!" Sara yelled back, sending Hilary into fits of laughter. The petite brunette calmed down from her shopping-induced high, reminded about her lover.

"What are you gonna do without me, Kai?" she inquired, only half joking.

"Get some work done and go down the gym." Kai replied grumpily. Sara gave Hilary a quizzical look.

"Oh, he's been like that since I woke up," Hilary explained, frowning slightly. "He won't tell me why, either."

"Why?" Sara called immediately. Kai muttered a few rude references to her curiosity, appearing in the doorway with his face a cold mask, eyes glittering dangerously.

"Just go and buy your useless fripperies!" he snapped, slamming the door. The two girls looked at each, shrugged, and started planning their shopping trip.

* * *

Sara held up a short, tight dark purple dress against herself and twirled round. 

"What do you think?" she inquired. Hilary surveyed her critically.

"A bit too short for my tastes, but it suits you." she replied finally. Sara grinned and nodded in thanks, folding the dress up and slinging it over the bundle already on her arm. She grabbed Hilary by the arm.

"Come on, Hil, let's go find you some decent clothes!" Hilary scowled playfully.

"And just _what_ is wrong with jeans and a nice blouse?" she asked sarcastically. Sra let out a low hiss of disappointment.

"Nothing's _wrong_ with it, as such," she explained carefully. "But you could do so much better!" Her eyes lit up and she lunged into a nearby rack. "Like this!" She held up a tight, black miniskirt and a figure-hugging, frilly white blouse. Hilary hesitantly took the proffered clothes.

"I used to wear miniskirts all the time when I was fourteen, fifteen." she admitted.

"Why the hell did you _stop_?" Sara demanded, waving her hands wildly around to emphasise her point. "Look at you, girl! You've got a stomach to die for, legs to _kill _for-"

"Virtually no chest, no hips-"

"What does that matter? You just have to go for the right outfits!" Talking _at_ each other, rather than _to_, the girls continued to wander around the shops.

Sara cursed as she bumped into somebody coming from the other direction and nearly fell. Hilary grabbed her and steadied her.

"Thanks, Hil," She flashed Hilary a grateful smile, which slid off her face in an instant when a hand clamped down on her arm. Light blue eyes stared down at her expressionlessly, wavy locks of soft crimson falling attractively around the white face. "Tami, what do you want? Your brother really shouldn't have let you out of your cage, you know." she commented blandly. The tall, strikingly beautiful girl ignored her and turned her gaze to Hilary.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her voice crisp and precise. Hilary bristled slightly.

"I'm Hilary. You?" she returned defiantly. Sara cringed inwardly. _Careful, Hil… _she thought warily.

"I'm Tami. Are you deaf or something of that sort?"

"Of course not!"

"Then I suggest you listen carefully in future." the older girl said in a supercilious tone. She returned her attention to Sara, who met her icy gaze insolently. "Is this…Hilary your latest little conquest, Sara?"

"No, I am not!" Hilary shouted angrily. Both girls ignored her.

"She isn't." Sara replied curtly. "She's a friend." Tami snorted.

"Is that so?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow. "In that case, it will be your first shot at friendship with another girl that does not end in a drunken groping, am I accurate in this?" Sara coloured furiously, hideously embarrassed.

"That's for me to know and you to wonder about." she muttered. Hilary shot her a sympathetic, if somewhat confused glance.

"Oh, but I have had experiences, have I not?" Sara's eyes blazed emerald as they locked with the icy ones of her adversary.

"We kissed _once_, you patronizing, slimy worm!" she snarled. Tami inspected her manicured nails calmly.

"You think so? Although, you were quite drunk, if I remember correctly. Very well, whatever you wish to believe…"

"Stop it, you slag!" Hilary pushed the older girl away a few steps, her face flushed with anger. Without any recognisable change in her expression, Tami reached out and took hold of Hilary's hand in her own, her palm hard and cool. Before the brunette could react, she had screamed in pain as her arm was pushed too far up her back in an agonising grip.

Hilary bit her lip, fighting to keep the tears inside her. Suddenly, the pressure on her arm disappeared. Gasping, she cradled her throbbing wrist to her chest and looked in fear at the scene before her.

Tami was standing perfectly still as Sara prowled round her, a look of dread in the pale blue eyes. Sara's face was dangerously blank, an expression that brought back so many bad memories for Hilary that she couldn't suppress a soft moan. _It's the Abbey_, she realised, _all to do with that stupid Abbey. _Cowering back, she waited for something to happen. Suddenly, a new voice broke the tension, talking in loud, urgent Russian. Tami reacted instantly, turning her head towards the sound of the male voice. Sara stayed as she was; if anything, the predatory look in her eyes grew in intensity. One hand was buried deep in her pocket. Cautiously, Hilary went up to her friend.

"S-Sara?" she stammered. "Um…are you okay? You don't need to be angry, yeah? I fine…a bit sore maybe, but fine…so, you gonna calm down or what?" Gradually, the lifeless expression faded from Sara's face and she blinked a few times, her expression vaguely confused. "You okay?" Hilary tried again, nervously. In return, she got a smile.

"Yeah, I just lost it a bit back then, huh?" She chuckled, the sound almost painfully forced. Another burst of Russian drew the two girls' attention back to the newcomer, who had his older sister tightly by the wrist. "Tala, it's none of your business what I do or _don't_ do with your whore of a sister!" Sara snapped. Hilary spun round so fast she clicked her neck.

_Tala? _Rubbing it and swearing under her breath, she stared at the red-head in unabashed amazement. He'd cut his hair, hadn't he? It was almost normal-looking now! Tala stared back at her, his expression faintly puzzled as he struggle to place her.

"Oh, Hilary, isn't it?" he remembered at last, his face unfriendly. "The Bladebreakers'," He nearly spat the word out. "little groupie." Hilary felt temper flare inside her.

"Don't you _dare_ insult the Bladebreakers!" she commanded, glaring up at him and silently wishing for another six or so inches in height. It was demoralising, being shorter than absolutely everyone around her; not to mention the disadvantage it put her at when it came to staring matches like the one that was currently going on between the two of them. Damn it, she had blinked! Damn! His lips twitched up in a cold smirk, like Kai in one of his worst moods.

"Oh, and what if I do?" he asked lazily. Hilary frantically searched her mind for a threat.

"I'll tell Kai!" she said at last, cringing silently as he burst out laughing.

"Kai? He couldn't give a damn about you bunch of losers! Why do you think he left you, what was it, four times? Yeah, like he's gonna give a damn what I say!" Burning with humiliation, Hilary stood mutely as he walked away, whispering something to Tami as they went.

Two identical, nasty smirks were sent towards the two girls. Trembling with rage and helplessness, Hilary let Sara pull her into a tight hug.

"What a way to ruin a shopping trip, hey?" Sara muttered, her half-hearted attempt at humour falling utterly flat.

"You said it," Hilary whispered, blinking back a tear. It seemed as if every way she turned for the past few weeks, they was another insult, another nasty look, another spiteful gesture, all aimed at her. Why was this happening to her?

"Tala's getting too big for his boots." Sara murmured thoughtfully, drawing away. "We'd better tell Kai about this, yeah?" Hilary shrugged.

"Why does Kai have the answer to everything?" she mumbled resentfully. Sara gave her a surprised look.

"Because he's Kai." she answered matter-of-factly. Hilary winced at the reappearance of one of Tyson's favourite lines. Even Ray and Max had trotted out that phrase at times, when Kai's actions bordered on the bizarre. _Am I the only who knows there's more to him than what people see on the outside?_ she wondered. _Sara should know, surely, she must know what he's like better than me… Am I really the only who realises he has feelings too? He's not just "Sourpuss", or "Ice King", he's a human being, with as many different emotions as I can think of. Just because he doesn't show them doesn't mean that he doesn't feel them. Why can no one else see that?_

* * *

Kai pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and rubbed, alleviating the burning, prickling feeling for a few seconds. With a defeated sigh, he returned to the worst job he had ever undertaken. The one that he had been dreading for what felt like a long, long time. 

Organising Leanne's funeral.

It required an absolute disassociation of feelings to be able to do without breaking down, and he just didn't have the energy to build his walls up again. Maybe he should just get Sara to do it, or Hilary.

_Hilary… _With a sigh that was closer to a moan, he buried his aching head in his hands. Grief battled with longing inside him. Longing for the younger girl's arms around him, her tender kisses…even a lecture wouldn't be so bad at this precise moment in time… Anything to take his mind off the gaunt, deathly pale face of his sister as her heart slowed to a stop in front of him.

_"Bye…Kai…love…you…" _

Tears formed in his stinging eyes and the silence was shattered by the sound of his broken, gasping breaths.

_Love you too, Lea…love you so much… _He wiped his damp eyes and pulled himself together. He had work to do. The sound of his pen scratching on paper filled the room.

An hour later, he sealed the forms in an envelope and left it on his desk. Standing up, he flung on his coat and went out the door, heading for the gym.

As Hilary and Sara walked up the street towards Kai's flat, they saw him slam the door and walk away, his strides quick and measured.

"He'll be off to the gym." Sara noted with a faint frown on her face. Without warning, she turned on her heel and kicked the wall of the block of flats they were standing next to, leaving a small dent in the bricks. "Tami, you...you_...cow_!" she screamed, her eyes wild. Hilary stood motionless for a second, then snapped out of it. Hurrying forwards, she reached Sara just as the girl collapsed, sobbing in fury. She wrapped her arms around Sara and rocked her backwards and forwards soothingly.

"Come on, Sara, it's okay. Calm down…c'mon, calm down…" With her face pink and screwed up in embarrassment, Sara stood and wiped her eyes angrily.

"Sorry, Hil," she apologised stiffly. "She just winds me up no end." Hilary nodded and smiled in sympathy.

"She did seem a bit in need of a personality transplant."

"Oh, Boris gave her one of those. That's the whole damn problem." Hilary looked at her friend in confusion. "Never mind, Hil. I can't be bothered to explain it right now."

* * *

Kai gently took Hilary's left wrist in his hand, studying the raised red welts on the pale skin intently. 

"It doesn't hurt," Hilary assured him quickly. _Lying through her teeth_. "It looks worse than it is - ow! Kai!" He smiled grimly through his thumping headache. _Like hell it does._

"I'll put Tala straight." he said tonelessly. He let out a short, mirthless chuckle at his unintentional pun. "Now, _that_ would be a hard job." He swung away and kicked out at the wall viciously, suddenly raging inwardly. "I'll teach him a lesson," he ground out. "He'll know not to mess with us." Worried mahogany eyes stared up at him.

"That's you _and_ Sarah who've kicked the wall today," she said flippantly, her eyes betraying her indifferent tone. "Doesn't it hurt your foot?" He stared blankly at her, not resisting as she pulled him over to the sofa and pushed him down onto it. She sat down beside him and ran her fingers tenderly through his hair. "What's the matter, Kai?" she almost whispered.

"Headache." Kai muttered brusquely. He flinched as Hilary stared directly into his eyes, then leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"It's more than that, silly," she stated. "You know it is, now tell me." He looked away stubbornly, not even making eye contact when she threaded her slim fingers through his and held his hand tightly. "Kai." Her voice was quiet, reproachful.

"Leanne." The word crept out of its own accord. Kai swore softly, hating the way Hilary's eyes filled with pity. He didn't need pity. He had never needed pity. "Stop looking at me like that!" he snapped, the phrase coming out harsher than he would have liked. Mahogany eyes flashed with hurt and he bit his tongue, guilt and irritation warring inside him. "I'm sorry, Hils," he said stiffly.

"It's okay," she said quietly. "Do you want me to get you a painkiller?" He hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"Yes. Please." he added as an afterthought. He lay back on the sofa and closed his stinging eyes, slipping into a light doze.

A cool hand was on his forehead, stroking it soothingly. Groggily, he opened his eyes. Hilary smiled down at him.

"Are you feeling better?" she questioned. "You've been asleep for a while. No," she pushed him down as he tried to sit up, "You stay down there. You deserve a rest."

"I've _had_ one." Kai complained. Glaring at her, he sat up. "See? I'm fine." He reached out and ran a hand over Hilary's soft hair. His expression suddenly grim, he picked up her injured wrist and touched the swelling gently. "Tala _will_ hear about this," he muttered ominously.

"Don't make a fuss," Hilary pleaded.

"Don't make fuss? The guy didn't apologise for what his sister did to you, or to Sarah, he insulted you, _and _he insulted the Bladebreakers. Give me _one_ good reason why I shouldn't go and beat the living daylights out of him!" His voice had become steadily colder throughout his rant.

"Because I don't want you to." she whispered, shuffling closer and hugging him tightly. He sighed and kissed the top of her head, unable to stay angry when she was cuddling up to him like this.

"Fine." he grunted. "I'll sort him out _without_ violence, does that satisfy you?" Hilary nodded, a mischievous spark lighting in her eyes. Nonchalantly, she shifted position, unobtrusively inching her skirt up until it was as short as the miniskirts she had once worn.

"I could think of something else that would do the job even better…" She looked at him from underneath her eyelashes, a sly, suggestive glance. A slow, hungry smile crept across Kai's face and he placed one hand on her thigh, moving upwards at a tantalisingly slow speed.

"My, my, you've changed your tune quickly, haven't you?" he asked huskily. His hand inched upwards and stroked the very top of her thigh. Hilary gasped with pleasure, already lying down without thinking. He grabbed her hand and pulled her upright, crashing their lips together in a long, passionate kiss. "And just where do you think you're going?" he murmured, his lips touching hers as he spoke. Slowly, he undressed her down to her delicate, lacy underwear. "God, you're so beautiful…" he murmured. She smiled deviously and reached out to undo the buttons on his shirt. Her breasts brushed against his chest as she moved and he bit back a gasp. Only one little layer, one tiny little layer of lace separated him from her…

She moved shamelessly against him, clearly enjoying the knowledge that she was arousing him with so little effort. Her mouth found his at the same time that her hands found his now-bare chest. A gasp sprang unbidden from Kai's lips and Hilary's mouth curved in an answering grin. "Little tease…" Kai muttered. He wanted her, right_ now_, but for that, she was going to suffer a more…prolonged taking.

He reached behind her and unclasped the bra. It fell away instantly. Next, he began to ease her knickers over her smooth, taut thighs, down her long, slender legs. Suddenly, she pressed herself against him, sending a jolt not unlike an electric shock straight through him. Lust inflaming him, he held her hips there, letting her feel his need, then pushed her back until she lay on the sofa. He stripped, throwing his clothes carelessly to one side and lowered himself down to her, their lips meeting fiercely. His hands roamed over her body, sliding over the silky-smooth skin before stopping at the soft triangle of hair and playing with it for a few seconds, his mouth closed over her nipple and enticing a murmur of protest. She wanted him already? Tut tut, slow _down_ Hil, this game had only just begun…

Hilary let out a soft moan of yearning and pushed her hips up. Need was tight in her throat and chest, like the feeling you got before crying; the feeling that all control was about to be lost. His hard, muscular body sent electric tingles through her body, her incoherent pleas unheard as he continued his game, touching her core, teasing her mercilessly. Finally, she could bear it no longer. Digging her fingernails deeply into the skin of his hip, she pushed helplessly against him again. With a soft, breathless chuckle, Kai changed positions and with a long, relieved moan from both parties, he gave in to his desire.

Kai moved inside her rhythmically, noting with satisfaction the way that she already moved in unison with him. Want built inside him, so intense he couldn't see, he couldn't think, there was only here and now and the beautiful spitfire underneath him. He moved harder, faster. Her lips met his and they kissed violently, fervently.

Hilary's head was a mist, her whole body focused on the craving that lanced through her in waves, drawing into a tight ball inside her. It grew so intense she felt like crying, like screaming, anything to release the pressure inside her. At the same time, she wanted it, _needed_ it, needed _him_, he was deep in her, almost frighteningly so and it felt so right, so perfect… She let out a hoarse scream as something happened inside her, something that made every nerve in her body explode at once. This was ecstasy…this was heaven…paradise… Floating in a cloud of happiness while your body took you places you didn't know existed…filled you to the brim with feelings you didn't know you were capable of…

She was complete at last.

Her cheeks dimpled as she smiled in wondering delight. She lay motionless, her body fizzing with bliss, her naked chest rising and falling rapidly.

Amethyst eyes looked at her through half-closed eyelids and a warm hand stretched out to rest gently on her cheek.

"You okay, Hils? Did I hurt you?" Kai asked drowsily, his expression soft and tender with sleepiness. She shook her head weakly, linked her hand with his, smiled at his concern.

"Wow…" she breathed, before her eyelids slid shut of their own accord.

* * *

"Why don't you organise a reunion kind of thing?" Hilary blinked. Talk about out of the blue! They had been comfortably slagging off Tami and Tala, or the "ginger mingers" as Hilary had taken to calling them, when Sara had leaned back on her chair and come out with that exceedingly random comment! She blinked again. 

"_What_?" she demanded at last. Sara grinned.

"All of you lot. The Bladebreakers," she clarified. Hilary flinched.

"No." she said flatly. At that second, Kai came out of his office, looking as tired as usual, and caught her words.

"What's no?" he asked, going to the kettle and making himself his sixth cup of coffee. "Oh and by the way, Sara, we've got a problem."

"What?" Hilary breathed a sigh of relief as the two of them started to discuss some business matter or other. Sara's words floated in her head.

_Why don't you organise a reunion kind of thing?_

_No_, she repeated mentally, wondering who she was trying to convince. The voices in her head? _No_. _No, no, and no_.

_You'd get to see Tyson again…_

_No! _She crossed her arms stubbornly. She was happy here, with Kai, and with Sara. Why rake up the past? It would only hurt.

_You could get the full story off Tyson and Max at last…you know you've been wanting to do that even since they kissed…_

_NO!_

_

* * *

_Well? What does everybody think? I felt like bringing Tala in, and Tami was a thought that I had that kind of turned into her. Anyway, please give your opinions on the lemon, and how you think I'm doing with this fic. (Apart from slow...(winces)) 

Oh yeah, and can somebody PLEASE tell me what a beta is? It's been bugging me for months! Thanks!

See you all next chapter! (Whenever that is)


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back! At last! After ... 10 months? I really am so sorry!!

A huge thank you to **Lamanth, Angiechan101, Whatevergurlx0x, thought i choose death instead of pointless pain, AngelFire1472, Kimkizna, eMpTy-ShElLs,** **Nubia**, **Angelic Kitsune, LEGOLAS' lady 101, Amber, anas-belonging, DarkWolf88, Amanita Virosa-Midnight Wrath,** **Ember**, **.angel.del.silencio**, (you reviewed twice?) **super saiyon vegeta bulma**, **hil2378**, **lovette ngbeken temi** and **Kai and Hilary love forever** for reviewing!

Omg! 20 reviews!!! I love you all! (hugs all reviewers and hands out Kai-plushies)

A massive thank you to **eMpTy-ShElLs**, who took the time to beta-read for me and make corrections that I didn't know had to be made!

* * *

"Remind me again how you managed to persuade me to do this?" Hilary mumbled, glaring at the grinning girl opposite her. Sara shrugged.

"Natural talent." she said modestly.

"Yeah, you're naturally talented at _something_…" Sara tossed her head smugly and carried on trying to find the phone number of Ray's agent on the Internet. Suddenly, she grinned and clicked her fingers.

"Got it!" she exclaimed, pointing to a tiny row of numbers hidden away in the bottom corner of the screen. "Where's the phone…" Panicking, Hilary grabbed for the phone and sat on it.

"I-don't-think-that-this-is-a-very-good-idea-after-all…" she said quickly, shuffling backwards. Sara frowned.

"Don't chicken out now!" Hilary stayed put. "What's up?" Hilary shrugged.

"What if he hates us?" she mumbled at last. "What if he doesn't want anything to do with us?" Sara shrugged, imitating Hilary.

"Then I hang the phone up." she said matter-of-factly. "If the agent doesn't let me through to him, I also hang the phone up. Problem is solved." Hilary raised an eyebrow as Sara's English started to slip. _That's what you get when you turn up hungover._ Hillary thought smugly to herself. Sara grimaced and rolled her eyes as she noticed Hilary's silent mockery. "No one gets hurt." she continued. She patted Hilary encouragingly on the shoulder. "Come on, Hil!" Hilary bit her lip.

Ray had always been like an older brother to her, the one who was polite to a fault, the only one of them who recognized that she was a girl, and not just a machine programmed to scream at Tyson. Yet, the memory of how he had behaved when Kai had left them was startlingly vivid still. He had become almost like a replacement Kai, taciturn, preferring to be alone and flying off the handle at the slightest provocation. How would he react if he found out that she was living with Kai, had been for months, and hadn't told any of them?

Answer: Badly. She didn't want to lose his friendship. That was, if she still had it.

"But…I don't want Ray to hate me…" she whispered.

"No one could hate you, Hil!" Sara said fiercely. Hilary blushed and muttered something under her breath. "If you were gay, I'd have jumped on you first chance I got!" The two girls laughed.

"Kai would rip you to shreds if you tried that now!" Sara shuddered, narrowing her green, slightly bloodshot eyes.

"Don't I know it!" Her face creased and she swore under her breath. "Damn, that reminds me!" She stood up so quickly that the chair fell over, sending her tangled hair flying everywhere. "Sorry Hil, gotta go, Kai's gonna kill me as it is, ring that agent guy or I'll do it for you!" She flew out the door, leaving Hilary staring after her, bewildered.

-------

Ten minutes of staring at the telephone number as thought it might bite her later, Hilary jumped violently as the phone rang. Nervously, she reached the it and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" she quavered. _Should I be answering this? It's Kai's _work _phone; what if it's someone who wants to speak to him_, _should I just say that he's out, or-_

"Hils?" She relaxed, virtually melting into the seat at the sound of Kai's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Turn on the TV in half an hour, ok? I'll be back at some point."

"Where are you?" Hilary asked, her curiosity thoroughly piqued.

"Somewhere." he said flatly.

"Never." Hilary replied bitingly. "When is some point? I'm bored."

"Do something, then."

"What?" she exclaimed, exasperated with her taciturn boyfriend.

"I don't know, do I? Do girl things." Hilary rolled her eyes.

"Girl things generally need someone else to do them with, Kai, and in case you hadn't noticed, Sara's off with you."

"Of course I've noticed; she's driving me insane. Go and explore or something."

"I'll get lost." Hilary countered, fighting to keep her increasing mirth from her voice. Kai was pathetically easy to wind up at times.

"You're playing with me, aren't you?" he demanded suddenly.

"Uh-huh." she agreed happily. He growled, and she laughed. "Don't worry, Kai. I'm fine over here. How are you?" She could vividly see him shrugging.

"Fine. Be back soon, okay? If this phone rings again and it isn't me, just pretend you're a secretary or something like that."

"Okay."

"Oh, wait … Sara, what is it now … what? Sara says that she's prepared to act out her threat. What's going on with you two?" Hilary nearly split her sides in silent laughter at the utter puzzlement in Kai's voice.

"Stop thinking Kai, you'll hurt yourself."

"Shut up." he replied automatically. "I've got to go now, bye." The phone clicked.

"Bye." Hilary said to an empty line. She scowled. She hated Kai's abrupt way of ending phone calls. Or conversations, come to that.

Half an hour later, that little row of numbers was still hovering on the computer screen in front of her. Glaring at it, she quickly clicked the cross icon and got back to the original page. Silently filing it away in her mind, she exited from that too and shut down the computer, a pang entering her chest as she reflected on how cowardly she was, and how much she longed to hear Ray's voice.

"Oh well, might as well go and see what Kai was babbling about." she muttered to herself.

Curling up comfortably on the sofa, she eventually dug the remote out from down the side of the sofa and turned on the TV. Suddenly, a thought hit her and she starting giggling uncontrollably. "You didn't think to tell me what channel, did you?" she demanded of the empty air, shaking her head. "Course not…" Resting her head on the arm of the sofa, she began the impossible task of flicking through all nine hundred and sixty five channels.

Fifty chapters later, she gave up. "Kai, you're a completely and utter idiot." she groaned. Getting up, she wandered aimlessly around the flat for a few minutes. An idea struck her, and, a grin spreading across her face, she slipped into the room that she knew Kai used for beyblading practise.

Instantly, her eyes were drawn to the beydish in the middle of the room. To be more specific, the beyblade and launcher that lay in the middle of it. Hesitantly, she walked over and bent down. With hands that trembled more than a little bit, she scooped up the heavy metal beyblade and cradled it in her palms, scrutinising it carefully. _It's so shiny … _was her first, rather childish thought. Her second thought … well, she almost dismissed it without thinking. It was absurd. Kai would _slaughter_ her.

-------

It niggled away as she stared at the gleaming blue blade and ran her thumb over it absentmindedly. Finally, her resolve snapped.

"I have absolutely _no_ willpower … please God don't let me ever need to diet …" she mumbled as she bent down and picked up the bulky launcher. Clumsily, she pushed the beyblade onto the launcher until it clicked. For a split second, she stared at it, appalled by her own daring. _Kai's going to be _so_ angry with me_, she thought dimly. She grinned mischievously. _Oh well_. Unconsciously imitating the boys that she had spent the best part of four years watching, she settled into some approximation of a launching stance and gave the ripcord an awkward, inept yank.

The beyblade landed in the dish - just - and spun unsteadily. _Come on, _Hilary willed it silently, _don't stop…_ Amazingly, Dranzer steadied and was soon spinning merrily away.

With a kind of reckless bravado, Hilary said something that she regretted the second it left her mouth.

"Dranzer, Blazing Gig!" With a sense of looking through a long tunnel, she watched the bit-chip begin to glow a blinding white and something stirred inside it. A deafening shriek made her ears ring and a terrific backlash of power and heat hit her head-on. An incredible sensation swept through her mind, leaving only blankness in its wake.

Her vision shrank to a tiny circle of white, then nothing.

-------

"Hilary? Come on sweetie, I know you can hear me … come on, wake up…" Hilary groaned, only vaguely registering Sara's voice.

Her head felt strange, she couldn't seem to gather her thoughts properly. It hurt, too. Badly. It felt like something sharp was being driven into her skull, deeper with every heartbeat. Heat washed over her in long, drowsy waves.

Gradually, she came round enough to blink sleepily up at Sara's worried face. Sara instantly flung herself on her friend, muttering in thankful Russian.

"Mm … Kai?" Hilary murmured dazedly. Sara bit her lip.

"Over there. He's … a bit pissed off with you?" She laughed nervously. Hilary turned her head in the direction Sara had indicated. Ice flooded her veins at the murderous look in Kai's eyes.

He stood up and made his way over to her, his dark eyes pinning her to the floor.

"Stupid." he hissed. "You _stupid _little girl. What did you think you were _doing_?" Hilary stared up at him mutely, suddenly afraid.

"Kai, give her a break!" Sara cried protectively. Kai ignored her.

"Do you have any idea at _all_ how irresponsible that was?" For the first time, Hilary made out the suspicious glimmer in her boyfriend's eyes. "By rights, the power surge should have wiped your mind completely clean! Do you _want_ to end up like Wyatt?" He was yelling by now, his eyes wild. "_Did you_?" he shouted. A tear slid down Hilary's hot cheek as she shook her head minutely. Kai glared at her for a few more seconds, then turned away with a violent shake of his head. Striding out, he slammed the door viciously behind him.

The thick silence was broken by Sara, who let out a breath that she had clearly been holding for a while.

"How you feeling, hun?" she asked softly. Hilary tried to pull herself up, and managed on the third attempt.

"Hot, tired, like my head might explode…" She tried to smile as tears fell down her cheeks. "Does Kai hate me now?"

"No!" She shot Sara a faintly disbelieving look. "He doesn't, Hil." Sara confirmed earnestly. "He was just scared shitless for you. And I think he was more than a little angry at himself, for leaving Dranzer out for you to find." She hugged Hilary gently. "He doesn't hate you, Hil. I don't think he could if he tried." Hilary hugged Sara back, then pulled away, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

-------

Ray yawned and changed his position on the sofa.

"Kon!" He opened one eye lazily to see his publicity manager standing in the doorway, a mobile phone held loosely in his plump hand.

"What?" he drawled, rolling over onto his stomach.

"Someone from your old team," Ray levered himself up onto his elbows, only mildly interested. Tyson and Kenny rang from time to time, and Lee rang _constantly._ "A girl," the man added. Interest sharpened and flared into the first stirrings of alarm. Swinging himself into a sitting position, he stretched his hand out, silently demanding. The phone was placed in his hand, then the man retreated hurriedly.

"Hello?"

"Oh … hi Ray … how are you?" A panicky giggle. He sat bolt upright.

"Hilary?" he asked after a pause of sheer disbelief.

"Y-yes, Ray. I was just - "

"Do you know how _worried_ the others have been? You need to ring them, Tyson especially - "

"Did they tell you what happened?" Hilary asked timidly. Ray took a deep breath, his mind racing as he wondered how to cope with the situation.

"Yes." he said at last.

"I can't talk to Ty, not just over a phone …"

"Needs to be within slapping distance, hey?" Ray chuckled. She giggled shrilly. "Where are you, anyway?" There was a long silence. "Hil?"

"Russia." A tense, expectant pause. Ray found every muscle in his body tensing, rejecting what his mind had already sought ahead and claimed as fact. "With Kai." She started giggling again, hysterically. Knowing that the laughing fit signaled nerves rather than amusement, Ray let her quiet down.

"How's Kai doing?" he asked at last, awkwardly.

"Oh, he's okay. Over-working himself a bit and not listening to me when I tell him that, but, well, that's Kai, isn't it?"

"He works? What does he do?"

"I don't really know." He sensed real frustration in her voice. "Something to do with helping kids that came into contact with this Biovolt thingy." He couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"What?" she demanded.

"Thingy? Oh, that's the Hilary we all know and love!" They laughed in unison.

After a few minutes of exchanging trivialities, Ray asked the question that he knew had to be asked. "Hil? Why did you run like that?" The mood became somber again.

"I just couldn't stay, Ray. I just … couldn't. Not knowing that he was with him, and over me … he chose him over me … "

"Did you love him?" Blunt, abrupt, lacking in any of the finesse and charm that Ray usually coated potentially hurtful questions in. Hilary made a small choking sound. "Did you?"

"No." she whispered. "I-I thought I did. But I don't." The words "Not anymore" hummed over the phone line as effectively as of they had been spoken aloud and Ray bit his bottom lip. "Anyway, this wasn't why I phoned!" she exclaimed suddenly, back to her usual, brisk, absentminded self. "I was … well, that is … I thought that … to fix everything up … see everyone again …"

"You're rambling, Hil."

"Sorry." She took a few deep breaths, obviously collecting herself. "I was wondering whether you would come to Japan, so that we could all meet up again?"

"All?"

"Yup, all of the Bladebreakers. I'll bring Kai, even if it means dragging him by his scarf." Ray felt his chest tighten at the mention of his old friend's name.

"Okay, I'll see if I can sort it with my agent. Any date in mind?" he asked carefully.

"Nope. Whatever suits you?"

"Okay then Hil, I'd love to. Does the invite extend to Mariah?"

"Why not? She's fun." Ray smirked.

"Agreed."

They talked for a few minutes, then hung up. Ray lay back on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling, pondering the events of the past ten minutes.

"This could be interesting." he whispered to no one in particular.

-------

Hilary seriously considered hiding behind something. A chair would do. Or the door. Oh, no, excellent, here came Sara; perfect!

"Hil, what?" Without looking from behind the taller girl, Hilary pointed towards where Kai was sitting. Sara followed her finger. "Ah. See your point. I suggest a tactical retreat … fairly soon … like, now …" Her babbling was cut off abruptly as Kai stood.

"Fine." he said carelessly. With a strange, unreadable glance at Hilary he walked past them.

Both girls stared at each other.

_What?_

-------

Kai shut the door behind him.

Then, slowly, without even the vaguest appearance of anger, he picked up a chair -

- and threw it at the wall.

_No! _he raged inwardly. _I don't want to! You can't make me, nobody can make me - there was a reason I left in the first place! _

He sucked in a short breath and held it. _Okay, childish tantrum over. I go, beat the living shit out of Tyson and Max for devastating Hilary like they have, avoid Ray as much as possible, come back, get on with work. Problem solved. _

_I really need to cut down on the coffee_.

-------

"I want to come!" Sara wailed, and pouted childishly.

"Why?" Kai shot back. Sara shrugged innocently. Kai turned to Hilary, who was grinning widely.

"One word, Kai," Hilary enlightened him. "Mariah." Kai rolled his eyes.

"If it causes problems, I'll send you back. While we're there, I'm your boss, you'll listen to _me_. Ok?"

"Yes, Kai, of course Kai." Sara was already off in dreamland as she spoke.

"I can't believe I'm doing this …" Kai muttered under his breath.

-------

Hilary yawned and wriggled slightly in the car seat, shuffling nearer to Kai.

"You ok?" Kai asked quietly, slipping an arm round her and giving her a gentle squeeze. She nodded sleepily.

"Jet lag." she said in between yawns. "How do you two survive?"

"Practice, and being tougher than you. Mainly the latter." Sara teased. Hilary opened one eye to glare at her friend.

"Wake me up when we arrive." They were meeting Ray and Mariah at a service station before moving on to the dojo.

As her breathing evened out and her sleeping face relaxed into blankness, Kai and Sara exchanged a long look.

"Remember, Sara. If anything happens …" Sara nodded, her face set.

"She'll be safe." Sara said, more a statement than a mere reassurance. "Which is more than could be said for the rest of us." Kai frowned at her.

"Leave it." She waved her hands around airily.

"Consider it left." She had made her point, and they both knew it.

-------

"Hilary! Great to see you again!" Hilary grinned happily and flung herself into Ray's open arms. He tightened his grip in a quick, welcoming hug.

"I missed you!" she mumbled, fighting back tears as she reluctantly retreated from his embrace.

"Missed you too, Hil." They smiled at each other.

"Too much sap!" Mariah declared loudly, grabbing Hilary in a one-armed hug and kissing her cheek. "Be happy!"

"I am!" Hilary protested, laughing as she tried to push the older girl away.

"Good! Now, who are those two skulking in the car?"

"Kai, and a friend." Both neko-jin's eyebrows shot up.

"Girlfriend?" Mariah inquired bluntly.

"No, just the bane of my life." Kai opened the door and got out. His face was unreadable, his eyes closed. "She's more your type, Mariah." Mariah's eyes lit up and she _casually_ wandered over to the car.

-------

Hilary watched nervously as the two males regarded each other with almost identical expressions of wariness and suspicion. Her mind whirled with panic; she knew the temper these two had, and how hard it was to stop them once they became angry.

_Have I made a mistake?_ she wondered, knowing that it was too late to back out now.

* * *

Well? What do you think? Worth a ten-month wait? No, I didn't think so either. Anyway, if anyone wants to offer ideas or opinions about how the various characters will react face-to-face at last, just say! If I use any of them, you'll get credit!

Review?

xIlbx


End file.
